The Quesada Chronicles

Those that know me know I am very critical about movies in general.  Bad plots, poor writing, lousy directing, and horrid acting drive me up the %$#& wall!  So when I tell you to go and watch The Dark Knight, you will thank me later.  Unlike every imbecile that told me to go see Transformers, you can have faith in what I’m telling you.  Seriously, there is very little I would change about this movie. Let’s see, how can I describe this movie?  It is sexual arousing.  There.  I said it.

The casting was almost perfect.  Every actor that came back from Batman Begins (Bale, Caine, Freeman, Oldman) did great jobs.  Heath Ledger (R.I.P) was friggin’ fantastic as The Joker!  I mean, I had my doubts when I heard that one of the gay cowboys from Brokeback Mountain was going to play The Joker, but he couldn’t have done a better job.  The Joker was sadistic and creepy as hell.  And that is what he was always supposed to be.  Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent was brilliant as well.  Great makeup and special effects to bring his character along in the second half of the film.

‘The Dark Knight’ is one of the best movies I have seen in years.  Period.

-David Quesada, “The Quesada Chronicles”.

But just like any movie, something could have been done different to produce an even better product.  Maggie Gyllenhaal. Why is she in the film?  I know she played an important character, but… Maggie Gyllenhaal???  For those that don’t remember, the character of “Rachel Dawes” was played by a smoking hot, pre-crazy Katie Holmes in Batman Begins.  So they replace her hotness with… Maggie Gyllenhaal?  So they replaced this with this??  A girl that wouldn’t get a second look… anywhere?!?!?  The scenes where they tried to make Gyllenhaal attractive were a wast of time.  And believe me they tried.  I can think of several suitable replacements for Katie Holmes that would have been acceptable in place of Gyllenhaal.  I would have taken a full on insane Katie Holmes over Gyllenhaal!  Anyway, that was the only real thing wrong with the movie.  So I guess I shouldn’t complain too much.But honestly, Christian Bale and Aaron Eckhart vying for the affections of Maggie Gyllenhaal? Out of that entire movie, that was the thing I had the hardest time believing.

Scariest part of the whole thing, you may ask?  That’s easy.   Just before the previews, there was a promo for the chick-flick musical Mama-Mia sponsored by Ponds makeup remover, or something to that effect.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, the last thing I want to see is Meryl Streep with no makeup!  So, needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well last night.

-Dave Q.

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