So am I to believe that after all these years of avoiding watching American Idol, that girls that look like Katherine McPhee have been the contestants?  If that’s the case, why didn’t someone tell me?

I Googled Katherine McPhee and apparently she didn’t win American Idol the year she was on there.  WTF?  Are you serious???  How can she not have won?  I mean…. look at her!  It saddens me to think what this country has come to.  It just isn’t the American way to have someone this hot not win a singing contest.    If I were Simon Cowell and Katherine McPhee came in to audition looking like this, I would have immediately handed over the trophy and asked her to marry me.

-Dave Q.

I’ve received some very nice wedding announcements over the years.  All have been in either sent through the mail or in email form.  But check this one out.  I’m not sure what this says about Jeff and Erin.  Are they super creative?  Or do they simply have too much money and time on their hands?  You be the judge.

On another note, how about that height difference, huh?  Wow.  I know a lot of girls that would not be cool with that.

-Dave Q.

I just want to make it clear who my allegiance belongs to in this late night talk show cluster fu&$%!  I’ve never found Jay Leno to be all that funny.  Conan on the other hand can be a bit cheesy at times, but compared to Leno, he’s a comedy genius. 

I hope Conan tells NBC to go to hell and moves to another network.  And then goes head to head against Jay Leno.  And kicks his ass.  That would be comedy justice.

-Dave Q.

Wow.  I can’t believe we are 2 weeks into 2010 already.  I’ve been slacking on here because my focus has been elsewhere.  So that means this is my first post of the new year.  So… Happy New Year!  Moving on…

I’m glad to have survived yet another holiday season.  It’s funny how it was so fun and stress free when I was younger.  And today it’s one huge headache.  Part of growing up, I guess.  I did score some gift cards from Home Depot to help me with my remodeling project.  Yes, the same remodeling project that started in late 2008.  I’m just as sick of it as anyone else is.  It’s difficult to complete when you only work on it during the weekends.  And then of course, football season comes along and then that cuts in to your remodeling time.  You know where I’m coming from. 

Anyway, all the difficult stuff is done.  Or at least it appears to be.  You never know.  So my focus over the last month has been my “man cave”.  Basically, it’s going to be an office, but with a personal touch.  That would include a flat screen, an X-Box, a mini fridge, and some decor that could be seen as tacky.  See dogs playing pool pic above!

I actually love that poster.  I have it in a nice frame.  Looks good.  I got it almost 10 years ago.  My girlfriend at the time hated it.  She referred to it as tacky, juvenile, and tasteless.  Yet, I loved it.  I’m pretty sure she would have taken a hammer to it if she ever had the opportunity.  I don’t remember if she ever said anything like “it’s either me or the dogs playing pool”.  All I know is that she’s not around anymore.  And the dogs are.  Rack ‘em!

-Dave Q.

I was shopping at a strip mall near my house on Saturday.  I had a wedding to go to and there was a department store conveniently located there.  Turns out, their stuff was crap.  So I went without a tie.  Anyway, as I left the department store, I heard sirens and saw an ambulance and fire truck coming my direction.  I looked to my left to see this…

I’m guessing someone got their accelerator and break confused.  Or maybe they really needed a tan.  I don’t know.  But I had to snap a couple of pictures.  I got a couple of looks from other gawkers.  I guess it’s not cool to take pics when someone crashes into a store front.  I’ll try to remember that for the next one.

-Dave Q.

If you are anything like me, you probably have a junk email account.  An account that you use for those situations that demand an email address but that you don’t really have much interest in what they send you.  Well, I was going through my junk email account when I came across this.

I participated in a garage sale a couple of weekends ago.  And to help generate some traffic, I posted the garage sale on Craigslist.  So a couple of days ago I came across this gem in the old junk mailbox.  Was I sure I had to sell my “garage sale”?  Yes.  I was.  God I hate spammers.  But I hate spammers even more when they don’t even try.  I’m sure the article you wanted me to read was very compelling, Larissa (if that is your real name), but instead of me clicking on that link, how about you go to hell instead?  Sound good?

So if any spammers would like to email someone dumb enough to ask me if I really want to sell my “garage sale”, please email “Larissa” at larissabchrd@gmail.com.  She would love to have some email sent her way.

-Dave Q.

That’s Jared.  Yeah, that Jared.  Subway’s Jared.  Jared friggin’ Fogle.  Mr. I Lost Weight By Only Eating Subway.  Yeah.  I think he found all that weight he lost.

What the hell happened??!?  I remember joking with friends back in the day that Subway better pray that Jared didn’t one day keel over from a heart attack.  This can’t be good for business.  Someone needs to renew his gym membership or something.  If I owned any stock in Subway, I might want to consider selling.  And then recommend at the next shareholders meeting that they stop offering cookies with those oh so healthy sandwiches.

Speaking of fat guys, surely you saw this pic by now.  The pic above was taken by a stewardess flight attendant who had to be wondering how the hell she was gonna get the drink cart past that dude.  Seriously though, WTF?  Big time safety risk.  If there was an emergency, can you imagine all the problems the passengers would encounter?  I’d be pissed if I died in a plane because a fat guy crushed me during some turbulence.

For all I know that guy on the plane could have been Jared.

-Dave Q.

I’m not a big fan of going to the doctor, but I came down with a cold over a week ago.  I got over the cold about Wednesday of last week, but the cough that accompanied it has remained.  And it is killing me.  It is really bad at night when I am trying to get some sleep.  My sleep habits aren’t great to begin with, so when you toss in the coughing factor, I’m just not getting any reasonable amount of quality sleep.  And of course I’m just yawning during the day.  I couldn’t even eat enough turkey over the Thanksgiving weekend to induce a cough-free coma.

This week I will be at an off-site training instead of going to the office.  Good thing because I’ve been coughing a lot at work.  And a co-worker likes to point out that I am not coughing in the government approved manner, which consists of coughing into your arm?  This whole time I’ve just been covering my mouth.  My bad.

I hope it’s not swine flu.  My coughs sound like traditional coughs.  Not oinks.  So I may be okay.

-Dave (cough) Q.