I try to avoid getting too personal on the blog.  I don’t want to document every single little detail of my life because, quite frankly, some things just need to stay personal.  But I am going to take this post to vent.  I just need an outlet because I have so much on my mind.  I think it may be the holidays.  That and some family strife that has all kind of merged together, kind of like that movie The Perfect Storm.  Too much stuff going on to really get a grasp on things.  Thus, making it a very frustrating time.  One that I will get through, but frustrating nonetheless.

This may sound weird to those of you that aren’t religious, but I feel that at times my actions may not bode well with The Man Upstairs, and that in turn my selfishness could be the cause of any pain my family or loved ones may endure.  I don’t want to get too deep, so I will leave that one right there.  It’s just the way I feel.  It feels disgusting.  And I need to fix it.  I need to do the right thing.

Anyway, I just needed to put that out there.  And I needed to read my words.  And I need to focus.

-Dave Q.

8 Responses to “Soul Searching”

  • Kim:

    Sometimes just getting the thought out helps to work through a problem/feeling.

    And though every action has a consequence, I seriously doubt you are the direct cause of whatever the situation.

  • That may be in the top 10 most vague posts I’ve ever read. ;)

    Bad things always tend to come in waves, huh? My advice (because I know that’s what you want) is to go to church or start praying more. That always holds me more accountable for my actions & gets me to focus on what’s really important.

    Like Kim said, there’s probably nothing that you should feel guilty about. But hopefully reflecting on the situation like this will help you become a better person.

    This seems like a prelude to a New Year’s Resolution post. :)

    Hang in there!

    PS – How are you grandmothers doing?

  • Babs:

    don’t blame yourself for things going wrong in others lives, I’m sure your doing the best you can

  • Kari:

    You are in my prayers as well.

  • I find that getting my thoughts down in writing so I can read them helps me to process everything better.

    I hope that with what ever it is that is troubling you, you can find resolution as painlessly as possible.

    Peace to you this holiday season.

  • Texaslauren77:

    Ms. Florida Transplant took the words out of my mouth. I totally understand how you feel… Maybe it’s my catholic upbringing, but I’ve had the same guilt feelings before when I know I’m not doing the right thing in regard to my beliefs. But, I will say that whenever something is on my mind and I go to church, I usually leave with some kind of answer, resolution, or just a little bit of peace. Good luck with everything, and I’ll say a prayer that things are worked out for you soon.

  • It seems like I read of a different person everyday that is facing a struggle of some sort. Maybe it’s the time of year?

    I agree with Ms. Florida Transplant. One thing I have learned is that prayer and church can work wonders on the soul. Sometimes it helps to let “The Man Upstairs” carry a little of the load.

    And a beer every now and then helps too (in moderation of course). If you’re Catholic like I am it’s totally cool to do both.

  • dg:

    These types of situations in life tend to take you where you need to be…. closer to the Lord. We all need to get closer to him, we just don’t see it everyday…. or choose not to. I am and have been praying for you and your family. Merry Christmas and God bless.

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Today's Deep Thought

  • If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.