Archive for August, 2007

So I’m in New Orleans for my buddy Chase’s wedding. Here’s the odd thing about this, Chase is already married. You see, Chase’s wife Yvette is from New Orleans, and their plan was to get married here 2 years ago, but due to a major event, they had to postpone the ceremony and get married by a judge. If you do the math, I’m sure you can figure out what devastating natural disaster hit this city 2 years ago.

I have seen certain areas that are still in the rebuilding process. But the French Quarter and Bourbon Street look just as unsanitary as they did when I was here 3 years ago. So I guess things are progressing nicely. The gambling at Harrah’s seems to be just fine. At least they haven’t forgotten how to take my money.

I did have a bit of bad luck. When I arrived to my hotel they told me that they moved me because they had a sprinkler malfunction and about 30 rooms got flooded. Nice. So I’m in a different hotel than I expected. And I’m not happy about it. At least they have free wireless.

Anyway, I’m heading out. I’m going to get a bite to eat and to meet up for the rehearsal. And then the rehearsal dinner. And then I have to get Chase plastered. We all have our burdens.

-Dave Q.

In case you haven’t seen this, here is Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA.  And here she is answering a question.  This is just hard to watch.


The exchange went a little something like this:

 

Question: “Recent polls have shown 1/5 of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map, why do you think that is?”

Miss South Carolina: “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Huh?  Ok.  Obviously this girl got caught off guard.  And as much as I cringe when I see this video, it’s obviously not the end of the world for her.  Put it this way, I know her name, but I don’t know the name of the actual winner.  Funny how that works, huh?  She will probaby benefit financially in the end.  Plus she looks good in a bkini.  So I don’t feel sorry for her.  In fact, I thank her. :)

And of course you knew there would be some mocking of Miss Teen South Carolina.  Could have been funnier, but I guess this was the best someone could do.


By the way, how does Mario Lopez keep getting these gigs?  Or at least it seems like he’s done this stuff before.  Wasn’t he up to replace Bob Barker on the “Price is Right”?  Someone clearly sold their soul to Satan.

-Dave Q.

I am the only person on the planet that would end up missing my own Fantasy Football draft. All that damn planning and I overslept.

I’m going to go ahead and ram my head into a wall a few times. Excuse me…

-Dave Q.

So I played softball last night. And we got our asses stomped. You see, this particular team I play on, made up mostly of high school coaches, has a lot of heart. Talent, on the other hand, is not so plentiful. So after two innings bitch-slapped 19-2. Seriously. You’d think they would invoke some kind of mercy rule, but we weren’t that lucky.

Anyway, during the last half of the inning, where the opposing team scored the bulk of their runs, and for what seemed to me to take an eternity as a camped out in left field, the batter popped the ball up between me and the shortstop. As I’m running in, and our shortstop, Jaime, is running out, I hear one of the guys on the opposing team yelling “I got it! I got it!”, in an effort to distract us. Well, for starters, neither one of us were going to reach the ball. It’s not like either of us got under it and were just waiting for the ball to fall in our glove. But seriously. They were up 19-2 and some douchebag on the other team was yelling “I got it”? WTF? What kind of guy does that? Probably the same kind of guy that would have dressed up like a woman to get off the Titanic.

That to me is the definition of “Bush League”. When you do piddly little things like that to show your lack of sportsmanship, you are definitely the kind of person that will slide into second base with your spikes in the air to make sure the GIRL can’t complete the double play. Not caring if they injure her, of course. To make matters worse, the league we play in is a rec league. A “beer” league, if you will. Not competitive in the least bit.

No doubt the jackass that yelled that used to beat up 2nd graders when he was in 5th grade. Because he obvously can’t play with the big boys. Loser.

But we definitely played like 2nd graders. No defending that. Final score was 22-9.

-Dave Q.

My nephew turns 9 years old on Saturday. So since the contents of this blog are mostly inappropriate for kids, I can safely assume he’ll never read this. So with that being said, he will be receiving a birthday card from me any time now with a Best Buy gift card. Kids these days know what they want. And if I were a kid, I know whatever I would want could be found at Best Buy. I’m betting on a video game, personally.

Can you imagine growing up today? With all the technology around you? No wonder why my niece and nephew are so damn smart. And I’m not just saying that because they are family.  I don’t interact with a lot of children, but the ones I do interact with know so much more than I would ever expect. They are exposed to technology from every direction.  How can they not be smart?

So Happy Birthday Matthew.  Number 9 on my count.  I hope you have a great one.  Make sure you milk it as long as possible!  And thanks again for doing my taxes this year.   Smart kid, I tell ya.

-Dave Q.

SuperBad comes out this weekend. For those of you that have been living under a rock, it’s another comedy from director Judd Apatow, whose movie credits include The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. Considering how good those movies were and how good the trailers have been for SuperBad, let’s just say the bar is being set pretty high. I have high hopes here, Apatow! Don’t let me down!

I am McLovin...

So I hope to be checking out SuperBad this weekend. I also hope to catch up on some sleep. And mow the lawn. But with the recent insane rainfall around here, I will gladly fill in the time I would normally spend mowing the yard with… more sleeping.

The trailers from this movie have been so damn funny that they have forced me to change my screen name on Call of Duty to “McLovin”. So when I kill someone on there, it says they were killed by McLovin. Ha! And if they knew how much I sucked at Call of Duty, can you imagine how pissed they would be? I can hear them now. “Some crappy ass player named McLovin has his moments. He sucks. But he does have his moments”

-Dave Q.


Whoa. A U.S Marine rapping about what it means to him to answer the call to defend his country. Proud and Patriotic. Kind of leaves you speechless.

If rap were more about stuff like this instead of stuff like bitches, money, guns, bling-bling, hos, pimps, glocks, rape, and drugs, then maybe I could get into it. And please don’t start preaching about how all rap is not like that. I’m well aware of that. I remember Skee-Lo.


I don’t know the name of the Marine, or if he’s in Iraq or not. If he is, knowing how crappy things are over there, I hope he gets home safe. My brother-in-law is there now (Air Force) and my other brother-in-law was just there for nearly a year (Navy). I have my opinions on this situation our country is in. Some aren’t exactly flattering. But no matter how bad things get, I will always respect every man and woman in uniform. It’s not an easy thing to do. And it’s a tough life.

-Dave Q.

My shoulder hurts.  It’s been hurting me consistently now for over a month.  I know I hurt it playing softball.  And I have yet to go see a doctor about it.  I’m a friggin’ idiot.  I know.

I hate going to the doctor.  I know it’s a good thing to do, but there is just something about the visit that is, shall we say, less than pleasant.  And I’m not going to lie, my biggest reason for not going to the doctor yet is pure laziness.  I tried to make an appointment today, but I got distracted.  I was trying to look up my doctor’s phone number on the internet, and then the rest of the internet got in the way.  :)

So, back to me being an idiot.  I have a softball game tomorrow night.  And I plan on playing, pain and all.  So I promise not to complain about the shoulder anymore.  Hopefully it will heal after the season ends.  There are only 3 games left and we’re in first place, and I really want the high quality t-shirt we get if we win it all.

-Dave Q.

August 2007
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Today's Deep Thought

  • If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!"