Archive for December, 2009

I was shopping at a strip mall near my house on Saturday.  I had a wedding to go to and there was a department store conveniently located there.  Turns out, their stuff was crap.  So I went without a tie.  Anyway, as I left the department store, I heard sirens and saw an ambulance and fire truck coming my direction.  I looked to my left to see this…

I’m guessing someone got their accelerator and break confused.  Or maybe they really needed a tan.  I don’t know.  But I had to snap a couple of pictures.  I got a couple of looks from other gawkers.  I guess it’s not cool to take pics when someone crashes into a store front.  I’ll try to remember that for the next one.

-Dave Q.

If you are anything like me, you probably have a junk email account.  An account that you use for those situations that demand an email address but that you don’t really have much interest in what they send you.  Well, I was going through my junk email account when I came across this.

I participated in a garage sale a couple of weekends ago.  And to help generate some traffic, I posted the garage sale on Craigslist.  So a couple of days ago I came across this gem in the old junk mailbox.  Was I sure I had to sell my “garage sale”?  Yes.  I was.  God I hate spammers.  But I hate spammers even more when they don’t even try.  I’m sure the article you wanted me to read was very compelling, Larissa (if that is your real name), but instead of me clicking on that link, how about you go to hell instead?  Sound good?

So if any spammers would like to email someone dumb enough to ask me if I really want to sell my “garage sale”, please email “Larissa” at larissabchrd@gmail.com.  She would love to have some email sent her way.

-Dave Q.

That’s Jared.  Yeah, that Jared.  Subway’s Jared.  Jared friggin’ Fogle.  Mr. I Lost Weight By Only Eating Subway.  Yeah.  I think he found all that weight he lost.

What the hell happened??!?  I remember joking with friends back in the day that Subway better pray that Jared didn’t one day keel over from a heart attack.  This can’t be good for business.  Someone needs to renew his gym membership or something.  If I owned any stock in Subway, I might want to consider selling.  And then recommend at the next shareholders meeting that they stop offering cookies with those oh so healthy sandwiches.

Speaking of fat guys, surely you saw this pic by now.  The pic above was taken by a stewardess flight attendant who had to be wondering how the hell she was gonna get the drink cart past that dude.  Seriously though, WTF?  Big time safety risk.  If there was an emergency, can you imagine all the problems the passengers would encounter?  I’d be pissed if I died in a plane because a fat guy crushed me during some turbulence.

For all I know that guy on the plane could have been Jared.

-Dave Q.

December 2009
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Today's Deep Thought

  • If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.