Archive for June, 2008

Kobe Bryant. Phenomenal athlete. Lousy human being.

After the Boston Celtics destroyed Kobe and the Lakers to wrap up the NBA title this week, I can’t help but think a little thing called ‘karma’ came into play. You see, in my humble opinion, Kobe Bryant escaped persecution for sexually assaulting a girl in Colorado a few years ago because he is rich (Yes, folks, Kobe beat criminal prosecution because he has money, a la O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Michael Jackson, etc.) It doesn’t matter if the girl was promiscuous or not. Even a prostitute can be raped. But I know in my gut he did it and got away with it. And most people with more than three active brain cells would agree.

Now fast forward to this past Tuesday night. The absolute embarassing loss the Lakers suffered to the Celtics on the biggest NBA stage. It was absolute domination. Some may even go as far as to say that Kobe and the Lakers were… hmmm. Let me see… “beaten really bad”, by the Celtics? No. That doesn’t quite put it right. How about “bitch slapped”? I guess you can say that. Ah! I got it! Kobe and the Lakers were “RAPED” by the Celtics! Bent over and violated.

Wow, Kobe. Not many can claim to be both the giver and receiver of that situation. You never cease to amaze.

-Dave Q.

In case you don’t know, the young lady pictured below is Allison Stokke.  She’s not ugly.

I know last summer this girl became an internet sensation because of the above picture. But for whatever reason, I missed it. So I feel the need here to just throw my admiration into the fray. As seen here, the pole vaulter from California is calmly adjusting her hair before her turn in a competition. I understand she is still vaulting poles at one of the fine California universities.

Anyway, the reason I brought her up is that this is an Olympic year. And although she looks good, I don’t know if she’s any good at pole vaulting. For all I know, she may be terrible. But what if she turns out to be great? Can you imagine how famous she will become? How popular the track & field events will be the summer she becomes an Olympian? How NBC’s Olympic coverage ratings will go through the roof? It will be like the whole beach volleyball thing all over again. That, my friends, will make the Olympics interesting. To be honest, women’s beach volleyball is the only reason I would tune in to the Olympics.

Anyway, I know that the possibility of Allison Stokke representing the Unites States is a few years away. But it’s still fun to think about. Makes me even happier that we live in the era of HD T.V.

-Dave Q.


For a while now, I’ve been wanting to buy a Nintendo Wii. Well my friends, I now want one more than ever. Apparently besides helping you get your girl to play around in her underwear, the Wii Fit can help you get into shape, too.  ;)

For the record, she’s doesn’t look like she needs to work out.  But that’s a hard show to turn down.

-Dave Q.

It looks like the beast has finally been slain.

I can’t tell you how happy I am that Hillary has finally called it quits. I’ve been wanting to bring this up since I first heard it was going to happen last week, but I just wasn’t convinced. And even though her surrender came straight from the horse’s ass, er, I mean horse’s mouth, I still can’t help but feel it isn’t over. Think back to those ’80s horror movies and how you would think the monster was dead, but it would keep coming back. Hillary is that monster.

Anyway, here’s hoping that whatever happens in November is what is best for the country. And here’s to hoping Barack Obama doesn’t do something idiotic, like pick that bitch as his running mate.

And here’s hoping a bored Bill Clinton doesn’t pay a visit to your daughter’s prom.

-Dave Q.

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Today's Deep Thought

  • If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.