Archive for August, 2007

Last night Barry Bonds hit career home run 756*, breaking Hank Aaron’s MLB home run record. Congratulations, asshole.

As much as I want to bash this piece of crap excuse for a ballplayer/person, I found everything I would want to express right here. So aside from the following art work, I will be putting this subject to bed. Hopefully the next time this jerk is in the news is for his conviction of perjury. Come on, George Mitchell. This will be your one and only chance for me and millions of other true baseball fans to respect the game again. Don’t blow it.

-Dave Q.

That special time of year quickly approaches. You know what it is. And you know I know you know what it is. Damn right! Football season! And along with it comes all the trash talking, season ending injuries, and shattered dreams generated by something called FANTASY FOOTBALL.

Today I set up my league on Yahoo! and sent out my invites. If you could see my list of invitees, with the likes of Richard Wollney, Scott Soeder, and Nick Zuniga, just to name a few, you might think I was intentionally stacking the league with people who have no chance at winning, and therefore automatically crowning myself champion. Not true! On the contrary, the people I’ve invited possess the greatest football minds of this century. For example, word on the street is that Curtis Martin will be drafted number 1 by the so cleverly named “Rehab’s For Quitters”. So the bottom line is, they know what they’re doing. It will truly be an all out battle. Like the Russian chess player against the supercomputer. Except a couple of these folks are playing with Commodore 64s. And they ain’t Russian.

So I look forward to the Fantasy Football draft. And all the trash talk. And all the lopsided trade offers I’m sure to get. And all the Vince Young Wonderlic score jokes I’m going to make. But as much as I enjoy winning, it’s all about having fun… winning. As long as someone reminds my Puerto Rican brother Horbi that this is Fantasy Football and not Fantasy Futbol (he already had his eye on drafting Ronaldhino), and as long as someone reminds my buddy Jay that I know more about his lousy Dallas Cowboys than he does (remember when you told me your precious Cowboys would never pickup a piece of crap like T.O.?), then win or lose, it will be a good season. But I am going to win. Lord knows I’m due.

Let the trash-talking commence…

-Dave Q.

August 2007
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Today's Deep Thought

  • I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?