Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the winner of my Fantasy Football League…

BANANA WARRIORS - 2010 CHAMPS!

I have so many people to thank for this.  Namely Aaron Rodgers and Peyton Hillis.  Great season guys!  Rashard Mendenhall was a workhorse all year and what can you say about Desean Jackson?  All those flashy plays made contributed to the Banana Warriors first championship!  I also want to thank the outstanding General Manager of the Banana Warriors, me.  Outstanding job all around!

What’s cool about this league is that this is the 3rd year all of us play together, so we all know each other and get together for a live draft each year.  It makes for good trash talk, although this year it was lacking a bit.  Perhaps this can be addressed next year.  Anyway, 2010 will be the first year we are going to be awarding a trophy!  Something that we will have engravable plates on it  so that the winner each year will have their team name on the trophy, and the winner takes the trophy for the year.  Sounds pretty good to me!  So the next task for our league will be to name said trophy.  We’ve been kicking around some ideas around, but I think a good name for it would be “The Sterger Cup”, named after former Jets sideline reporter and Brett Favre text-scandal chick Jenn Sterger.  I figure her 15 minutes are almost up anyway, so why not salute her contribuitons to journalism boobs with this honor?  I mean, the girl isn’t all that bright to begin with and once the looks go, this trophy might be the only thing she has left.  :)   What do you think?

-Dave Q.

Well, well, well!  Not only did I make the playoffs in my (primary) Fantasy Football League, but thanks to Adrian Peterson sitting out the game last night against the Bears, I’m in the championship, baby!  But let’s not get too excited.  Let me explain why…

First, I played for the championship last year, too.  And it didn’t turn out that well.  In fact, my team was pretty much roofied and raped, if I remember correctly.  Actually, maybe I don’t remember it that well at all.  Roofies have that effect, right?  That might be for the best.

Second, my star QB, the guy that has brought my team and carried them nearly all the way to this point got a concussion and may not play.  I’m talking about Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers (for you non-football types).  In fact, he missed last week and because of that I was a crazy night from Adrian Peterson away from being eliminated.  That said, AP didn’t play.  And the Banana Warriors roll on!

Third, and this is my biggest concern, I am playing the one guy in the league that I couldn’t beat all season!  Doh!  The Banana Warriors finished the season 11 – 3.  Two of those losses came to this chump.  So, yeah.  Not good.  Possibly no Aaron Rodgers and facing the guy who pummeled me twice is not the situation I want to be going into the championship game with.  But, 3rd time’s the charm, right??

So this time next week, I will either be bummed out or on cloud 9.  Maybe I should have put “League Championship” on my Christmas list?  Dammit!  I already mailed it.

-Dave Q.

(Let the record show that I usually play in several fantasy leagues, but this league has the most money and prestige involved, so it takes priority over all others…)

I’ve never liked the Yankees.  I don’t want to go into all the reasons why, since I need to get some sleep and the list of reasons is endless.  But I know I’m not the only one.  And after tonight’s game, I’m pretty sure there are more people out there that feel the way I do.  Check out this retard…

I present to you, Exhibit A, as to why Yankees fans can’t understand why most knowledgeable people can’t stand the Yankees, and therefore, can’t stand Yankees fans.  He interfered with a play that Rangers outfielder Nelson Cruz was trying to make.  And then does this crap.  What a douchebag.  Ironically, if you Google “yankees douchebag”, the above gif file is the first thing that comes up.  Way to represent Yankee Nation, ass-clown.  Also worth checking out are the real classy fans all around him.  Pay particular attention to the fat guy a row behind him.  Read those lips.

The sweetest thing of this display of douchbaggery?  The Yankees would go on to lose the game 10 – 3.  Owned.

-Dave Q.

The 2010 World Cup kicks off today!  Ha!  See how I included the word “kick” in there?  Anyway, I know it is a long shot (and by long shot I mean a snowballs chance in hell), but I am hoping for Team USA to win the whole damn thing!

I admit that many years ago I was one of those that didn’t care too much for soccer, or futbol, depending on where you’re from.  But over the years it has really grown on me.  The World Cup is the single greatest sporting event in the world.  How can anyone not get pumped for this?  The day I have kids, I will be putting them in for soccer, like it or not.  :)

So I wish Team USA the best.  Bring home the trophy!  And since Costa Rica didn’t qualify this time, I guess I will pull for…  hmm.  I don’t know.  Not sure who to pull for if Team USA gets bounced.  I guess we’ll see who plays with the most heart.  But I do have a soft spot in my heart for Cameroon.  But that’s a different story.

-Dave Q.

Now here is a cause I can get behind.  :)


October is here.  And that means it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month. And it’s times like these that I feel I should speak out.  You see everyone, few causes are as important as this one.  You want to Save the whales?  That’s great.  But let’s save the boobs first, got it?  Priorities, people!

You want to hug a tree?  That’s cool.  Me?  I’d rather hug boobs.  And I think I speak for every man and woman out there that boobs take priority over trees.  So, to hell with the trees.  Save the boobs!  This cannot be ignored!!  If that means other causes have to be put on the back burner, so be it!  Priorities, people.

What about PETA?  Hmmm…  no.  Save the boobs, damn it!  I hope I am getting through to everyone.  This is absolutely of the utmost importance!!  Don’t ignore this plea.  To illustrate how motivated I am about this, I will offer free breast exams as long as there is something in writing that I can’t be held accountable for anything.  I am just trying to help here.

A world without boobs is a world I don’t want to be in.  

-Dave Q.

I just have one question for you, Olga.  Does the word “splat” mean anything to you?

I’m glad there was visual evidence of this, because I had a hard time believing my little sister would do this.  Wow.  Gotta give you props, Olga.  I’m glad you made it down in one piece.

Surprisingly, skydiving is actually on my to-do list.  Right between finding a cure for hickups and testing a beef-flavored sunscreen in shark infested waters.

-Dave Q.

My buddy Brian has got some hardcore softball fever (as opposed to cedar fever which is what I’ve been suffering from).  I know this because in the past, he has periodically mentioned how he would want to start his own team from scratch.  But then that talk would evaporate and it would be business as usual playing on our friend Jay’s team.

Well, this week Brian went all out.  He is putting a team together.  He is actively recruiting players, buying uniforms, and even set up a website for the team.  The team name you ask?  We are called Softball, Inc. To be honest, I’m not 100% sure that comma should be there, but, whatever.  I dig it.  If you click on the link, he has an old softball team pic in there.  And some witty remarks here and there.  We’ll see.  It should be a fun season.  I look forward to it.

So if you live in the San Antonio area and feel like playing, check out the site and contact Brian.  Just don’t join the team with the intention of knocking me out of batting 9th in the line-up!  If those are your intentions, then move along.  No room for you at the inn!

-Dave Q.

A long December and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last

-Counting Crows, Long December

I can’t say that I’m too upset about 2008 coming to a close.  It’s been a somewhat rough year at different times for me.  And after doing a lot of soul searching, I look forward to the opportunity to start 2009 with a clean slate.  A fresh start is just what the doctor ordered.

So I wish everyone out there a very happy 2009!  Be safe on New Year’s Eve, especially if you’re out there driving amongst all the drunkness. Until next year…

-Dave Q.

August 2017
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Today's Deep Thought

  • I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.