A very good friend of mine has had a very rough 9 months or so. He discovered last summer that his wife of 10 years had been less than faithful. And he went through a tough time, blaming himself for the whole fiasco. I was relieved when he finally came to grips with the fact that it wasn’t his fault. That he needed to let go. And that life goes on. Well, since the beginning of the ordeal to where it stands now, he is a completely different man. He’s got that spring in his step. That twinkle in his eye. And a couple of weeks ago at a friend’s birthday dinner, I found out why.
My friend and I go way back. Back to our high school days. Well, a good high school friend of ours had a birthday in January and a few of us decided to meet for dinner. And at that dinner, he showed up with another high school friend. One that he dated. And that night it looked like they hadn’t missed a beat! A couple of days later he told me how nervous he was to bring her around, worried about how everyone would react, since technically speaking, he was still married. “Seriously?”, I asked him. “You’re the happiest I’ve seen you in a very long time and you’re worried about what your status is technicallly”? I mean, technically speaking, he was right. The divorce had not been finalized. He was married. But, come on. That ship had sailed. I don’t think I would let some court document that I know to be tainted keep me from being with someone who truly makes me happy. Now, I’m not advocating anyone cheating on anyone here. I’m just saying in this particular instance, his marriage, while not in the eyes of the courts, has been over for some time.
After our chat, he felt a lot better about things. After all, we only have one life to live. We should live it as happy as possible. We don’t have as many opportunities to make good on that as you may think. Sometimes it’s ok to be selfish. Do what makes you happy.
As for right now, I think banana pancakes would make me happy.
-Dave Q.
