This is ridiculous. So how many dudes are claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby? Four? Five maybe? The fact that so many can put in this claim speaks volumes of the kind of “lady” Anna Nicole Smith, or should I say Vickie Hogan (her real name), was.

And then all these guys claiming to be the daddy. Do they really care about this kid? Or do they see $$$ signs if they are given custody? As harsh as it is, this kid is essentially a $500 million lottery ticket, and these guys know it. Depending on the outcome of an ongoing court battle, Anna Nicole Smith could have inherited a fortune. So if in the end the courts rule she gets the money, then it would go to her children. And since her 20 year old son died last year (you guessed it, drugs), the 5 month old little girl gets the cash. Wow.

So the father could be her lawyer, her former photographer, freakin’ Zsa-Zsa Gabor’s husband, or her dead ex-husband’s. No joke on the last guy! And he’s been dead over a decade! At this point I’m not ruling out that it could be Jason Roller’s.

I don’t feel bad for Anna Nicole Smith. Or for anyone that is blessed with good fortune and financial freedom and throw it all away because they liked drugs so much. The lady wasn’t all there, probably because her brain was fried. And at the end she had the IQ of a peanut butter cup.

I do feel bad for the baby, though. I hope whoever the real daddy is will step up and truly take care of the kid. Assuming they find the real dad. With all the possibilities, it could take years. Ahhhh, Anna Nicole… what a lady.

-Dave Q.

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Today's Deep Thought

  • Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, "Hey, has anybody seen my raisins?" (Because leeches kind of look like big raisins.)