Last night was the Oscars. Or, as I’d like to put it, Super Bowl Sunday for women and hippies. I did not watch it due to my strict policy against watching any television or movies that may possibly make me dumber. However, I would make an exception if I were guaranteed seeing Halle Berry all night instead of Ellen Degeneres. But not until then. So since I didn’t actually see the awards, I can’t really comment on them. But feel free to fill me in!

 

The GORGEOUS Halle Berry

So, I heard this thing lasted nearly 4 hours?! Wow. Did any of you sit through this? I also heard that Eddie Murphy and Mark Wahlberg were nominated for Oscars. I repeat, Eddie Murphy and Mark Wahlberg. And also Kelly Leak from the Bad News Bears. I guess they are just handing these nominations out now like they’re flu shots, huh? I can’t wait for mine. Do they come via UPS or FedEx?

-Dave Q.

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Today's Deep Thought

  • The king threw back his head and laughed. He enjoyed a good laugh, and so did his wife, the queen. When she saw the king laughing she let out a big laugh too. In fact, she laughed so hard she broke her throne. This made them both laugh harder. Then they got serious when they remembered they had the plague. "The plague," said the king, but the way he said it made them both burst out laughing again.