Last night was the Oscars. Or, as I’d like to put it, Super Bowl Sunday for women and hippies. I did not watch it due to my strict policy against watching any television or movies that may possibly make me dumber. However, I would make an exception if I were guaranteed seeing Halle Berry all night instead of Ellen Degeneres. But not until then. So since I didn’t actually see the awards, I can’t really comment on them. But feel free to fill me in!

 

The GORGEOUS Halle Berry

So, I heard this thing lasted nearly 4 hours?! Wow. Did any of you sit through this? I also heard that Eddie Murphy and Mark Wahlberg were nominated for Oscars. I repeat, Eddie Murphy and Mark Wahlberg. And also Kelly Leak from the Bad News Bears. I guess they are just handing these nominations out now like they’re flu shots, huh? I can’t wait for mine. Do they come via UPS or FedEx?

-Dave Q.

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  • I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is that they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff. Then, when somebody comes up, they act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"