“The only difference between myself and Barry Bonds, is that I don’t think I’m Barry Bonds.” -God

America’s favorite cheater, Barry Bonds, got indicted today by a federal grand jury. He is being charged with 4 counts of perjury and 1 count of obstruction of justice. Apparently in the evidence, there is a positive steroid test, and something regarding syringes. And his former trainer got released from prison shortly after all this was announced. He was jailed for not willing to testify against Barry. Coincidence? I think not. Here’s a great Barry Bonds article for you.

Will justice be served? I highly doubt it. Even with all this “juicy” evidence, I predict that Barry Bonds will walk. This case will no doubt go to trial. And if there is a trial, then it will most likely be held in San Francisco, where a jury will be selected. Most citizens of San Francisco love Barry Bonds. They think he’s a good guy who never did steroids. Obviously, not a very smart group. Combine that with the fact they are largely liberal and already hate the government (remember, it’s a federal trial), then Barry will walk. Those people can catch Barry Bonds with a syringe stuck in a butt cheek, and still acquit him. If the powers that be want a fair trial, they will move it out of San Francisco. Maybe even out of California. I mean, Californians acquitted O.J. for God’s sake. And Michael Jackson. And Robert Blake. So if you’re famous and you want to commit a crime, you’d better do it in California. IQ level there isn’t very high.

So let’s assume Barry Bonds is found not guilty. At least he will always have this indictment. That, along with his “record breaking” home run ball being branded with an asterisk in Cooperstown, he will forever be identified with cheating and steroids. I can live with that. Now if only Major League Baseball would grow a pair and wipe all those records he broke off the books.

You know, somewhere out there, Hank Aaron is smiling. :)

-Dave Q.

12 Responses to “Barry Bonds* Did Steroids? Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

  • Obama biatch:

    Where do you get your information? do you have proof of anything you post? i don’t think you are in any position to be judging anyone. it’s easy to just seat back, eat your donuts and pass judgement. there has never been proof linking barry to any steroids use so there shouldn’t be all the presumption of him being guilty. check your sources donut man.

  • Dave Q.:

    Dang, dude. Now I want a donut.

    Anyway, Obama biatch, sometimes in life, we don’t need proof to know somebody is guilty of something. For example, I don’t need proof to know that Scott Petersen murdered his wife. Or that Michael Jackson is a pedophile. I just know.

    Along those same lines, I don’t need proof to know that you have your head so far up your ass that you think Barry Bonds DIDN’T do steroids. See how that works? :)

    Anyway, thanks for reading. Maybe we could share a donut some time.

    BTW, the only people that think Barry Bonds is innocent are Giants fans. So, am I right in guessing you live somewhere in California? :)

  • Roger Clemens:

    I hope I’m not next……..

  • Alex Rodriguez:

    Don’t worry about the records. I’m going to break them all anyway. That should make everyone feel better.

  • Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  • Rudy:

    Innosent untill proven guilty! if your an american you should follow that and Bonds was never proven guilty.

  • B N:

    Doh. I thought it was “innocent until your hat size goes up by 3 sizes.” I mean… if Bonds didn’t do steroids, what is his explanation for why he was not extremely, extremely alarmed by this?

  • informed dodger fan:

    wow ignorance is bliss. your blog is funny, are you serious or just 10 yrs old, grow up. bonds is the best hitter to play the game and maybe the best all around.
    P.S. I hate the giants

  • Barry is innocent:

    No proof after several years of speculation, books, indictment and MLB players found guilty of using what Bonds is accused of we have no trail. Why the government was wrong for picking up the media’s paton to get Barry Bonds. There are no positive test, the witness did not turn Bond is as guilty as Babe Ruth for taking baseball from one era to the next. He was harsh to media as he won MVP awards and they did and do not like him today. if you consider that more than half I beleive the majority of MLB players took or did something to enhance their game that was morally wrong no one had an advantage and Barry was the best player. Get over the fact that he is black, hung around criminals (Balco group), he was the best to do it when he done it. The best player not in the HOF.

  • Dave Q is an idiot...:

    This isn’t really in response to your article about Bonds, moreso about your response to Obama Biatch’s post. About how you “just know” so many things.

    How do you know that Michael Jackson was a pedophile? Did he molest you as a child? Aside from that, or you actually witnessing him fondling kids, then I would say that your opinion, which is EXACTLY what it is, is based on mere speculation. Same thing goes with Bonds. Do I think Bonds did steroids? Of course I do. Your head doesn’t get that much bigger naturally over the course of a few years. Do I know that he did? No I do not. I never saw him stick a needle in him or anyone else do it for that matter.

    So Mr. I’m smarter than everybody else, I think you should take an IQ test yourself. You may have a gut feeling, and you may think something, BUT just because YOU THINK IT, DOES NOT make it a fact. There is a difference between thinking something and knowing something.

  • Trish:

    I know Dave Q is stupid because of the Michael Jackson comment. I mean, you can’t know any better than the kid who said Michael felt him up… and later admitted he had lied and been manipulated by his money-grubbing dad who severely messed up the lives of both his kid and Michael, for a few millions. People hate MJ because they are ignorant fools who love to judge others, like you, and who especially love to hate the rich and famous african-american. So whatever you say about Barry Bonds or anyone else is worthless hot air. Thanks to the Internet you can rant stupid shit to the whole world but that doesn’t make it any less stupid lol

  • Dave Q.:

    Innocent until proven guilty is a great policy. But sometimes, the system fails. Here are 3 examples of that:

    O.J. killed his wife.
    Robert Blake killed his wife.
    Michael Jackson raped little boys.

    While all 3 were proven innocent in a court of law, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. There are so many other examples of this. But anyway, I am probably in the minority with my opinion. I can live with that. I also don’t get my news from Entertainment Tonight. ;)

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