Not cool, Jessica.Jessica Alba is pregnant. She and some guy named Cash Warren (I guess that’s his real name) are expecting a baby next spring. First Salma Hayek, now this. This sucks.

So here are a couple of things to remember Miss Alba by. Since these days are pretty much over. Dear Lord, I hope I’m wrong. It’s happened before.

I thought about putting up a pic of this Cash Warren guy, but I don’t think it would be right to actually put up a visual of the most hated man in the world. He is no doubt already getting death threats. Perhaps a call to the witness protection program is in order?

I hate you, Cash Warren. Go to hell.

-Dave Q.

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Today's Deep Thought

  • My parents used to abandon me a lot as a child. In the morning, they'd take me to my school and then abandon me there, until school got out. Then at night, after they tucked me in bed, they'd abandon me and go to sleep in their own bedroom. Sometimes they'd let me sleep with them in their room, but if I started playing my guitar they'd take me back to my bedroom and abandon me again. Once, they abandoned me for a whole week, at my grandparents' house.