Kobe Bryant. Phenomenal athlete. Lousy human being.

After the Boston Celtics destroyed Kobe and the Lakers to wrap up the NBA title this week, I can’t help but think a little thing called ‘karma’ came into play. You see, in my humble opinion, Kobe Bryant escaped persecution for sexually assaulting a girl in Colorado a few years ago because he is rich (Yes, folks, Kobe beat criminal prosecution because he has money, a la O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Michael Jackson, etc.) It doesn’t matter if the girl was promiscuous or not. Even a prostitute can be raped. But I know in my gut he did it and got away with it. And most people with more than three active brain cells would agree.

Now fast forward to this past Tuesday night. The absolute embarassing loss the Lakers suffered to the Celtics on the biggest NBA stage. It was absolute domination. Some may even go as far as to say that Kobe and the Lakers were… hmmm. Let me see… “beaten really bad”, by the Celtics? No. That doesn’t quite put it right. How about “bitch slapped”? I guess you can say that. Ah! I got it! Kobe and the Lakers were “RAPED” by the Celtics! Bent over and violated.

Wow, Kobe. Not many can claim to be both the giver and receiver of that situation. You never cease to amaze.

-Dave Q.

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  • The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go, "Hey, I'm Vine Man."