Last night was our first softball game of the season. My buddy has a co-ed team I am playing for. The team name is the Tappa-Keggas. Catchy, huh? Anyway, the team has potential. There are some good players on the squad and everyone seems to get along pretty good. To me, that is more important than winning. Having a good time with your friends should be the goal. In case you are wondering, we are playing in the least competitive league. That should be obvious with me being on the team.

Things got a little crazy in the game for me. At one of my at-bats, I hit a hard grounder to shortstop (Truth be told, it probably wasn’t hit that hard, but it’s my story to tell. ;) ).As I am running down the baseline, I see the cute blonde girl playing first base block the base path in an obvious attempt to catch the throw from shortstop. From where she is standing and how fast (or slow) I was running, I can see that the ball is about to hit me. So I duck and turn my head to my right hoping to avoid the incoming throw. Well, the cute blonde, focused as ever, is going for the catch when the back of my head collides with the left side of her face. WHAM! We both hit the dirt.

I am face down, hand touching first base, with a throbbing headache. I look up and see the blonde on her knees, holding the side of her face, with a tear going down her cheek. All she kept saying was “Are you alright? I’m sorry.” I was a little woozy, but overall ok. I actually have a small bump on my head as I type this. The girl was a trooper. I imagine she is still feeling it. She stayed in the game, but at catcher. She was a little too traumatized to play first base anymore. And after it was realized that everyone was ok, our respective teammates gave us a hard time.

We ended up winning 12-9. A nice start to the season. So what was the highlight of the night you may ask? Was it the inside-the-park home run I hit on my first at bat? No. My dazzling defense in left field? Of course not (since I didn’t really do anything on defense). I would have to say it was the collision. Or at least the result of it. Because after everything got straightened out, an unnamed teammate came up to me and said “Dude! After you and the blonde girl collided, I could see her purple thong while she was slumped over!” Impressive, since she was wearing a purple shirt (she’s a “matcher”!). But what’s even better is having a quality teammate that looks out for you with important information like that.

Purple Thong

-Dave Q.

3 Responses to “The Not So “Soft” of Softball (Redux)”

  • :

    Awwww you have the best teammates ever! It is nice to know you can count on them for valuble info.

  • :

    Maybe that team mate was talking about your thong – did you ever think of that? I mean hell you probably had a concussion or something. Seriously though, you got punked by a girl?. To quote my good friend Smokey from the original “Friday” … “YOU GOT KNOCKED TH F%^K OUT!”.

    obtw – I will bring the tacos for breakfast tomorrow…

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  • I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page that you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.