Author Archive
Check out what they did at CollegeHumor.com. This video rocks! Set to the tune of Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start The Fire, it basically gives you a rundown of what we experience in the comments sections of various websites. You know what I’m talking about. When one commenter insults another commenter. Hillarity ensues. If you have spent any decent amount of time on the internet, you will love this.
I do need to mention that some of you will be offended by the video. Especially you politically correct types. Which makes it that more enjoyable for me. 
If you don’t for some reason get this, then you should just give up the internet thing all together. And also you should stop trying to control your DVR with your garage door opener. Technology doesn’t like you either.
-Dave Q.
So in Europe, they have Burger King. And therefore they have the Whopper. Not to be mistaken with the Royale with cheese. Anyway, so they are promoting a new Whopper over there called “the Texican”. Get it? Me niether. Just watch the video.
So this has Mexicans everywhere furious. I’m not sure why. They should be flattered that Europeans obviously dig the Texican. Are they mad at the stereotype? That maybe Mexicans are short? I don’t see any Texans all huffing and puffing because Eruos think all Texans are cowboys.
My official advice to all pissed off Mexicans is simple. STFU! You are the same ones that told Americans to take a chill pill when Absolut vodka had that bullshit magazine ad implying that in a perfect world a big chunk of the U.S. would still belong to Mexico. So, please. Spare us.
For what it’s worth, I personally do not assume all Mexicans are masked, midget wrestlers. There are actually some pretty hot Mexican females over there! Sad thing is to have a shot with them, you need to be a masked wrestler. Not necessarily a short one, though. But the mask plays…
-Dave Q.
Happy Easter to everyone! That means it’s the end of Lent. Whew. This year was tough.
I ended up keeping up with no eating of red meat, no drinking of sweet tea, and of course no shaving or haircuts. I’m definitely not doing the latter again. Damn it sucked. And I’m amazed I made it. The image below is my best attempt to chronicle the no shaving/haircut struggle. Yikes. I know it’s ugly. And I heard plenty of jokes along the way. But maybe you have some new material. So if you feel so inclined, let’s hear it…
Anyway, I’m off to get a haircut. And dinner will consist of a nice thick, juicy steak. Washed down with an ice cold glass of sweet tea. Hmmm. It just occurred to me that being Easter and all, maybe some businesses to help me accomplish these things could be closed. Crap. 
-Dave Q.
For the most part, I think Glenn Beck is alright. I would occasionally listen to his radio show on the way to work and he was humorous while getting his point across. Most of the time I agreed with where he was coming from. But I have noticed that he was getting a little preachy and emotional lately. I don’t respond well to that stuff. I have a good sense of humor and am looking to laugh. Make your point and do it while making me laugh. You will have my attention.
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The 10.31 Project | ||||
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Stephen Colbert is a funny mofo! And in the video above, he pretty much destroys Glenn Beck. And it is almost impossible to argue with what he’s saying. I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
You gotta love Stephen Colbert!
The lesson here? Quit crying! And quit whining for that matter. Seriously.
I wonder how Jon Stewart feels about his protoge becoming a superior comedian. Hmmm.
-Dave Q.
I don’t watch a lot of TV. If it’s not The Office, Scrubs, or sports, I’m doing other stuff. Which explains why I don’t watch C.S.I. I have seen parts of a couple of episodes, and the concept of the show is pretty cool. But it’s hard to keep it all straight. There is a C.S.I. New York, another one in Miami, C.S.I. Budapest is slotted to come out in the fall, etc. Too much effort needed towards TV. I’d rather go outside.
Anyway, I have some friends who work in a different department from me in my company. And the head trainer there is cooking something up with a C.S.I. theme. And while doing that, it looks like he got a few of them to pose for what can only be described as promo pics for the show. And one of the pics leaked…
My hats off to all of them, because I don’t think I could have kept a straight face. They all look so damn cool. So smug. So confident. So glamorous. Chances are they will never speak to me again. Either because they’ve gone Hollywood and are too good to talk to me, or because they are mad that I posted this pic online. I’ll have to explain to them that no one reads this blog. Hopefully that calms them down. Seriously though, I could swear a couple of them are now wearing their sunglasses indoors.
Great pic, guys. My only suggestion for next time? Guns. Sweet, sexy guns…
-Dave Q.
I hope everyone gets to do a good pranking today. And if it’s better than the one above, I hope you got it on video.
-Dave Q.
So I have 2 weeks to go in Lent. And I am barely hanging in there.
I have been good without eating any red meat. But damn I want to tear into a steak so bad. You just don’t know! And the lack of sweet tea (or any tea for that matter) has been killing me. I am amazed at my self-discipline.
The no haircuts and no shaving thing is in full effect. I am truly shocked by this. About 2 weeks ago I was so close to shaving that I actually applied the shaving cream to my face. It was oh so close.
I failed in trying to avoid going out for lunch. It was just to damn hard to do. So I botched that one up. And the not eating after sundown? Yeah. That’s down the tubes as well. Now you know why I stacked the deck. I knew I would crack on a couple. Oh, yeah. The no sarcasm thing? Didn’t work either.
Anyway, bottom line is I have 2 weeks to go. And right now I look like a homeless guy. A cranky homeless guy. I have been trying to keep up with some pics of the beard, so I will be posting what I have the day after easter.
See you at the finish line. Which also resembles a barber shop.
-Dave Q.
I stumbled across this on the interwebs. Man, this brings back some memories. Back in the day when I was a kid, I remember sneaking to the living room after my parents went to bed and watching TV until they stopped broadcasting. Yes, back then they would stop broadcasting and call it a night. This was the network’s sign off.
Anyway, the last thing they would show is the little video and poem called High Flight. I didn’t get why they would show it at the time, but I knew as soons as that jet got airborne it was time to go back to bed. Anyway, brings back some memories.
I don’t know what the Dr. Phil crap is at the end of the video. But I don’t remember the good doctor being around those days.
-Dave Q.
