Archive for the ‘Awesome!’ Category
Michael Vick is going to jail for nearly 2 years after a judge sentenced him for his role in the dog fighting / gambling debacle that is known as “Bad News Kennelz”. He got off a little easy I think, but overall, I think justice prevails.
You know what sucks about this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Let Vick sit behind bars for a while. Let him lose millions of dollars. Let this whole episode scare the crap out of anyone else involved in this garbage. It’s hard to figure out what kind of person gets a rise out of seeing two dogs beat the crap out of each other. Or chickens for that matter (cock fights, folks). Dogs and chickens fighting to the death? Society needs to put these animals in their proper places. Dog is man’s best friend. And chicken is an alternative to eating beef. Not too difficult, people.
Come to think of it, one thing does suck. The fact that I’m on the same side as PETA on this one. But contrary to what they believe in, I won’t go fire bombing any science labs that are trying to find the cure for cancer because they are testing a vaccine on a lab rat. PETA %$#@! nut jobs.
-Dave Q.
Come on, Eva. Say it ain’t so. 
Alicia Silverstone. Kim Basinger. Christine Applegate. Pamela Anderson. These four has beens top the list of celebrities that have done ads for PETA, the bullshit organization that values the lives of animals more than human life. In these ads, the celebrity appears nude saying something like “fur isn’t cool” or something to that effect. Well, they finally got a celebrity in the prime of her career to get naked. Even better, someone you want to see naked. This sucks big time, since I really, really like her. I just didn’t realize she was into domestic terrorism.
So here is the ad that super hot Eva Mendes came out in today in New York City. Nice…. uh… back. 
Now before you go and start writing thank you letters to PETA, realize that this group is not all cute and cuddly like the baby seals they are protecting. PETA is in reality a pretty sick group. Check out what, of all people, Penn and Teller find out about the magical group that is PETA right here.
Based on that information, if you have pets, you are in violation of what PETA is trying to do. And the funniest thing about this is that pet owners are probably their biggest supporters! Kind of reminds me of a bit they did on “The Man Show”, where they were getting women to sign a petition to end women’s suffrage. Women left and right were signing this petition, not realizing that women’s suffrage is the right for women to vote. But we all knew that, right? So pet owners naturally think that supporting PETA is a good thing. Moral of the story, do your research.
If you don’t like watching videos, or don’t like Penn & Teller, then go to www.petakillsanimals.com. Pretty shocking stuff in there. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Nope. Not really.
-Dave Q.
Joe Horn, Houston resident and not Atlanta Falcons wide receiver, shot and killed two people who were burglarizing his neighbors home. And he did all this while on the phone with 911. He called them to report the burglary and then decided to take matters into his own hands when the burglars tried to leave with a bag of goods.
If you heard the 911 call, then you heard that both the burglars happen to be black. Well, apparently that makes it a racial issue. In steps in some Jesse Jackson wannabe that calls himself Quannel X. He and his friends with the New Black Panthers announce that they will be paying a visit to the residence of Joe Horn on Sunday. Well, some 500 supporters of Joe Horn were there to greet him. They pretty much shouted him down with USA chants. He and the Black Panthers basically left with their tales between their legs. Ha! Get it? Panthers have tails.
I think we as Americans have the right to protect our property. And I believe in the 2nd Amendment. And I don’t like burglars. So I am siding with Joe Horn on all this. Under Texas law, it appears that he was within his legal right, although he may face charges of some kind. With all that being said, I wouldn’t mind Joe Horn being my neighbor and watching out for me.
As for Quannel X. Well, I really don’t know. I Googled him and didn’t get anything but that most people think he’s an “Ass-Clown”. So what I do know about Quannel X is that he is the one making this whole Joe Horn shooting incident about race. And that and he’s not as funny as Nat X, as played by Chris Rock on Saturday Night Live.
So there you go. Nat X interviewing Jesse Jackson. A Quannel X wet dream. Sleep well, Quannel.
-Dave Q.
“The only difference between myself and Barry Bonds, is that I don’t think I’m Barry Bonds.” -God
America’s favorite cheater, Barry Bonds, got indicted today by a federal grand jury. He is being charged with 4 counts of perjury and 1 count of obstruction of justice. Apparently in the evidence, there is a positive steroid test, and something regarding syringes. And his former trainer got released from prison shortly after all this was announced. He was jailed for not willing to testify against Barry. Coincidence? I think not. Here’s a great Barry Bonds article for you.
Will justice be served? I highly doubt it. Even with all this “juicy” evidence, I predict that Barry Bonds will walk. This case will no doubt go to trial. And if there is a trial, then it will most likely be held in San Francisco, where a jury will be selected. Most citizens of San Francisco love Barry Bonds. They think he’s a good guy who never did steroids. Obviously, not a very smart group. Combine that with the fact they are largely liberal and already hate the government (remember, it’s a federal trial), then Barry will walk. Those people can catch Barry Bonds with a syringe stuck in a butt cheek, and still acquit him. If the powers that be want a fair trial, they will move it out of San Francisco. Maybe even out of California. I mean, Californians acquitted O.J. for God’s sake. And Michael Jackson. And Robert Blake. So if you’re famous and you want to commit a crime, you’d better do it in California. IQ level there isn’t very high.
So let’s assume Barry Bonds is found not guilty. At least he will always have this indictment. That, along with his “record breaking” home run ball being branded with an asterisk in Cooperstown, he will forever be identified with cheating and steroids. I can live with that. Now if only Major League Baseball would grow a pair and wipe all those records he broke off the books.
You know, somewhere out there, Hank Aaron is smiling.
-Dave Q.
Ahhhh yes. Wurstfest. The 10 Day Salute to Sausage.
New Braunfels is a small town, just a 15 minute drive north of San Antonio. It has a strong German heritage, as the name suggests. And once a year, New Braunfels plays host to one of the bigger German themed parties in the country. And beer and sausage are the focus. It’s called Wurstfest. And it’s damn fun.
So on Saturday, we went. We ate. We drank. We took pics. We drank. We danced. And drank some more. Since I’m not a regular at Wurstfest, I am just figuring out the hat thing. Apparently wearing stupid hats is highly recommended.
Let me sum up Wurstfest. If Fiesta is Mardis Gras for Latinos, then Wurstfest is Fiesta for white people. Yeah. That sums it up. Anyway, we had a great time. I highly recommend you go next year.
Seeing all the people walking around eating sausage, I couldn’t help but remember the Broken Lizard film, Beerfest. And the scene with old German whore Cloris Leachman warming up the sausage links. Ha! That was classic.
-Dave Q.
Call of Duty 4 is being released today. And I’m dying to play this game! I got hooked on COD2 (the WWII version) and now I’m wanting to see all the improvements they have in the new one. It is, afterall, “modern warfare!”
This is turning out to be a pretty good week! My niece’s birthday was yesterday (happy birthday Catherine!), COD4 comes out today, and my birthday is tomorrow. Throw in some Spurs victories, and you have a very happy camper. So don’t screw up my week, Tony Parker. Make your damn free throws!
-Dave Q.
Oh, believe me I want to! But for some reason, I am tossing and turning. Just can’t get to a good snoozing point. So I figured I’d kill some time on the “inter-web” until the urge to sleep strikes. You’d figure seven NyQuil capsules would do the trick, but here we are.
So just for the hell of it, here is one of the better McDonald’s commercials I’ve seen in a very long time. I want to say it came out this year around Super Bowl time. Does it do the job in that it makes me want to eat a Filet-O-Fish? Kind of. But how could anyone want to eat either of those hillarious little guys? Especially the one with the accent. Ha! Now that’s some funny stuff.
Ok. NyQuil is kicinking in riht aboooooooot noooowwwwwwwwwwwwwzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
-Dave Q.
Halloween. A time for ghosts, goblins, trick-or-treats, and slutty outfits.
It’s the only time of year when the average girl next door can dress up super naughty and not feel bad about it. And most guys don’t feel bad about this either. You go to a bar or club the weekend of or before Halloween, and you’re going to see a great deal of skin. Or at least you will in San Antonio, where late October weather doesn’t stop a girl from exposing some flesh.
I went to Swig North this past Saturday for a friend’s birthday get together. The staff was all dressed up. And of course the female bartenders are dressed to get the biggest possible tips. And then there were all the “Naughtys.” Naughty cops. Naughty nurses. Naughty Witches. Naughty Belly Dancers. Naughty Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. I have to say that most of the girls showing skin were actually in decent shape. Lately all the provocatively dressed girls I’ve seen are a donut away from Weight Watches. So this was a nice change of pace.
Anyway, tomorrow you can expect to see a lot of the more innocent girls you know to dress as if they were walking around an Iranian market. They will probably be making a focused effort on covering up and not wearing anything sexy after they got dressed all slutty and got a little tipsy. What better way to make amends for all the pics taken of them freaking on the dance floor with a guy in a Gumby costume. Except it wasn’t a guy in a Gumby costume, but a ficus tree.
And just for the heck of it, a classic video wit even more classic parents! This cracks me up…
-Dave Q.
