The Quesada Chronicles

Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Keeping on with the Olympics stuff and Amanda Beard, check out this report below of Amanda Beard dissing Michael Phelps.

I like Michael Phelps.  Seems to be a humble guy.  A specimen of an athlete.  But I have told more than one person during these Olympics that, quite frankly, the dude looks like a dork.   And some say he dresses like a douchebag. He’s a winner, no doubting that.  And I admire him for his accomplishments and representing the USA.  But those Gold Medals around his neck are the proverbial porkchops that people would joke about hanging on an ugly kid to get the dog to play with him.  If Michael Phelps weren’t a Gold Medal winning Olympian, he would have trouble getting laid.

And let’s take this a step further, Amanda Beard is attractive.  Out of the water, she is attractive.  Serving me an entree at Olive Garden, she is attractive.  Ringing me up at Home Depot, she is attractive.  And let’s face it, folks, she could do a lot better than Michael Phelps.  I mean, have you really taken a good look at this guy?  Is this a face chicks are attracted to? Why would Amanda Beard go for that?

These CNN commentators are full of shit if they think for one minute that Michael Phelps is a good looking guy and throwing Amanda Beard under the bus for her Playboy and Maxim spreads.  These people lips are so vacuumed sealed on to Michael Phelps’ ass it’s ridiculous.  Perhaps they want an interview?  But, hey…  he is an Olympic legend now.  And a bright shining star of a celebrity.  Big time accomplishments.  Big deal if hot chicks don’t want to sleep with him.

-Dave Q.

Continuing our Olympic coverage, or in this case, uncoverage, here is the latest ad from everybody’s favorite group of hypocrites, PETA.  But as much as I hate PETA, they do have some good ads.

Now I have no issues with seeing Amanda Beard in the nude.  But, wow.  This girl must hate clothing.  She will take any opportunity to be in the buff.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  I insist I have no issues with that.  By all means, Amanda, take it off to your hearts content!  But I will say this:  Where is the mystery with this girl?  She leaves nothing to the imagination, and that sucks to some degree.  She must have been absent the day they taught ‘Tease 101′ in whatever school girls go to to learn all their tricks.  Damn dirty tricks.

-Dave Q.

So the 2008 Olympics got rolling this past weekend.  And although most of the Olympic games aren’t worth scheduling time around, I admit to being psyched up about women’s beach volleyball.  And anyone that knows me will tell you that watching Olympic women’s beach volleyball is a sure-fire way to get my Olympic juices flowing!  That, or I have acid reflux.  Not 100% sure.  And since here in the states they will surely be televising each USA women’s match, I truly hope their opponents are hot.  Because I really don’t think the American women, Misty May and Kerri Walsh, are all that attractive.  In fact, let me go as far as to say that Misty May is kind of fugly.  Maybe there is another USA women’s team?  Anyone know?  With cute girls, maybe?  A team worth getting behind?  Is it so hard to have a girls volleyball team that is competitive and hot?

Now here’s a volleyball player easy on the eyes.   This is Tian Jia from the host country of China.  The girl has nice form.  Very nice form.

Here’s something that shocks me.  Cheerleaders?  At a women’s beach volleyball game at the 2004 Athens Olympics?  Makes me think of that ‘Beer Heaven‘ commercial.  I mean, can it get any better than that?  The athletes are already hot and dressed like cheerleaders, and then they bring our real cheerleaders?!  Hell yes!

I, of course, will be hoping for U.S.A. gold medals all around.  That is, except for one event.  One American team full of millionaire thugs, a wife beater, a greedy jerk, and one rapist (that we know of).  I’m talking about the USA men’s basketball team.  Maybe in this regard I am anti-American, but I simply can’t pull for a team the has the likes of Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony,  Jason Kidd, Carlos Boozer, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to see Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, and a couple of other decent guys represent the USA, but the Dream Team gimmick has run it’s course.  And I really don’t want to see a piece of crap like Kobe Bryant getting a gold medal.  So… we’ll see what happens.

So Here’s hoping for a near USA sweep!  And lots of beach volleyball.  I hear Brazil might be a team worth watching…

-Dave Q.

I have been an Atlanta Braves fan since they sucked beyond belief back in the ’80s.  They were always on TBS and became my favorite team.  And through all those losing seasons I watched as I learned the game, there was that familiar, witty, sarcastic commentary from Skip Caray that made it all easier to accept.  Well, Mr. Caray passed away on Sunday in his sleep.  I’m shocked and saddened by this.  Not having Skip Caray around makes baseball that much less enjoyable.  No doubt his Pop greeted him at the pearly gates.

The man was good at what he did.  He knew his stuff and had many memorable great calls.  But I will never forget this one.  Quite possibly his greatest…

“The 2-1. Swung, line drive, left field! One run is in! Here comes Bream! Throw to the plate! He is … safe! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!”

Rest in peace, Skip.  You will be missed.

-Dave Q.

Kobe Bryant. Phenomenal athlete. Lousy human being.

After the Boston Celtics destroyed Kobe and the Lakers to wrap up the NBA title this week, I can’t help but think a little thing called ‘karma’ came into play. You see, in my humble opinion, Kobe Bryant escaped persecution for sexually assaulting a girl in Colorado a few years ago because he is rich (Yes, folks, Kobe beat criminal prosecution because he has money, a la O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Michael Jackson, etc.) It doesn’t matter if the girl was promiscuous or not. Even a prostitute can be raped. But I know in my gut he did it and got away with it. And most people with more than three active brain cells would agree.

Now fast forward to this past Tuesday night. The absolute embarassing loss the Lakers suffered to the Celtics on the biggest NBA stage. It was absolute domination. Some may even go as far as to say that Kobe and the Lakers were… hmmm. Let me see… “beaten really bad”, by the Celtics? No. That doesn’t quite put it right. How about “bitch slapped”? I guess you can say that. Ah! I got it! Kobe and the Lakers were “RAPED” by the Celtics! Bent over and violated.

Wow, Kobe. Not many can claim to be both the giver and receiver of that situation. You never cease to amaze.

-Dave Q.

In case you don’t know, the young lady pictured below is Allison Stokke.  She’s not ugly.

I know last summer this girl became an internet sensation because of the above picture. But for whatever reason, I missed it. So I feel the need here to just throw my admiration into the fray. As seen here, the pole vaulter from California is calmly adjusting her hair before her turn in a competition. I understand she is still vaulting poles at one of the fine California universities.

Anyway, the reason I brought her up is that this is an Olympic year. And although she looks good, I don’t know if she’s any good at pole vaulting. For all I know, she may be terrible. But what if she turns out to be great? Can you imagine how famous she will become? How popular the track & field events will be the summer she becomes an Olympian? How NBC’s Olympic coverage ratings will go through the roof? It will be like the whole beach volleyball thing all over again. That, my friends, will make the Olympics interesting. To be honest, women’s beach volleyball is the only reason I would tune in to the Olympics.

Anyway, I know that the possibility of Allison Stokke representing the Unites States is a few years away. But it’s still fun to think about. Makes me even happier that we live in the era of HD T.V.

-Dave Q.

This is my friend Jen. She emailed me this pic of her. Check out that right eye. Ouch! And check it out a different pic here. That’s a pretty good shiner. Ironically, she is from Shiner, TX. And therefore bleeds Shiner beer. Weird.

Now I can only imagine what happened to her since I did not get an exact description of events that led to this. And trust me, I can imagine a lot. So here it is. My Top Ten possibilities on how Jen got a black eye:

1. Face planted while skateboarding.
2. Let her guard down while boxing a kangaroo.
3. Wore Obama gear at a Hillary rally.
4. Tried to take candy away from her 1st graders.
5. Attempted to act out a seen from the second Jack Ass movie.
6. Someone told her chicks with black eyes are sexy.
7. Got in the way of a football pass, Marsha Brady style.
8. Bar fight with soccer hooligans.
9. Walked into wall.
10. She plays softball, so…… she probably talked too much trash after a game.

These are just theories. We will probably never, ever know the truth about what happened to Jen. I am pretty sure it’s one of the above (leaning towards kangaroo). But if there is a realistic scenario I haven’t considered, please let me know.

And yes, I’ve thought about straight up asking her what happened. But judging by the beating she took, she probably has no recollection of the past couple of weeks. Poor girl.

-Dave Q.

A bunch of naughty photos of members of the Sacramento Kings dance team are being circulated on the web. From what I can tell, it looks like one of the girls posted a bunch of her pics online, where they eventually got leaked. Well, that wasn’t the smartest thing she could do if she wanted to keep them under wraps. But is anyone shocked that this girl had several thousand brain cells on their lunch break when she decided to do this?

I don’t have a problem with these. In fact, I encourage all cheerleader types to express themselves in this manner, and then share them with the rest of the world! But let’s be honest, is anyone surprised by this? This is becoming the norm for young twenty-something girls everywhere. And I speak for every man out there when I say, “keep ‘em coming”!

If you want to see the more risque pics, go to withleather.com. Don’t get your hopes to high, though. The girls aren’t the hottest in the world. But yeah, I would say it’s worth taking a look.

-Dave Q.