Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
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I’m done. My team is out of the playoffs. I lost to a friend of mine who loves the Dallas Cowboys so much, that I know more about what they are about than he does (remember the T.O. thing, Jay?). Now I will be watching football for the pure leisure of it. And I will only stress about a game I care about. Here’s hoping for a final four of the Packers, Bucs, Chargers, and Pats.
And here’s to not caring about a meaningless interception here, or a fumble there. Or whatever. To hell with this. Screw you guys. There’s always next season.
-Dave Q.
(My Dad sent this one to me…)
To My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
-Dave Q.
The Holidays. They mean different things to different people. In my opinion, it should be a time for family. And of course, God. I know there are those out there that don’t believe in the Man upstairs, but I choose to. So go to hell.
But the Holidays aren’t only about the good wholesome stuff like one’s loved ones and one’s faith. It’s also about something more depressing. Like shopping. But for now I’m not going to focus on the misery the Holidays bring. Let me focus on the good.
My sister, niece, and nephew flew in from Hawaii in time for Thanksgiving. My sister already went back to the islands, but the kids are still here, and will be until early January. My aunt and cousin flew in from Costa Rica for the holidays. They are all staying with my folks. Plenty of room in that big house of theirs. And believe me when I tell you, my parents love this stuff. They adore those kids and having them around makes them happy. It’s rare that so much family is around for the Holidays. So I’m taking it all in as well. 
Now, back to my misery. I love giving gifts. I love giving the right gifts. What I loathe is the process. I hate shopping. Absolutey hate it. I don’t like malls. I don’t like fighting for parking spaces. I just hate shopping. So you may be able to see how this time of year would add stress to my normally stress free existence. Online shopping comes in handy right about now.
So I am doing my best to enjoy the Holidays. But still, if you feel like making a few bucks and doing my shopping for me, I have a shopping list I can give you.
-Dave Q.
Joe Horn, Houston resident and not Atlanta Falcons wide receiver, shot and killed two people who were burglarizing his neighbors home. And he did all this while on the phone with 911. He called them to report the burglary and then decided to take matters into his own hands when the burglars tried to leave with a bag of goods.
If you heard the 911 call, then you heard that both the burglars happen to be black. Well, apparently that makes it a racial issue. In steps in some Jesse Jackson wannabe that calls himself Quannel X. He and his friends with the New Black Panthers announce that they will be paying a visit to the residence of Joe Horn on Sunday. Well, some 500 supporters of Joe Horn were there to greet him. They pretty much shouted him down with USA chants. He and the Black Panthers basically left with their tales between their legs. Ha! Get it? Panthers have tails.
I think we as Americans have the right to protect our property. And I believe in the 2nd Amendment. And I don’t like burglars. So I am siding with Joe Horn on all this. Under Texas law, it appears that he was within his legal right, although he may face charges of some kind. With all that being said, I wouldn’t mind Joe Horn being my neighbor and watching out for me.
As for Quannel X. Well, I really don’t know. I Googled him and didn’t get anything but that most people think he’s an “Ass-Clown”. So what I do know about Quannel X is that he is the one making this whole Joe Horn shooting incident about race. And that and he’s not as funny as Nat X, as played by Chris Rock on Saturday Night Live.
So there you go. Nat X interviewing Jesse Jackson. A Quannel X wet dream. Sleep well, Quannel.
-Dave Q.
I hate shopping. Absolutely hate it. So over the years I have simply laughed at all the people waiting in line in the cold at 4am for the “Black Friday” specials. I never understood what the hell was so important to sacrifice valuable time (and sleep) for. That is, until I saw the ads that came out on Thanksgiving.
There was one particular item that caught my eye. And of all places it was being sold at, it was the one place I despise. No, not Best Buy as you might have guessed, but Circuit City. I worked at Circuit City for a couple of years right after high school. I did sales. And to no ones surprise, I’m not a salesman. So I hated the job. Throw in the fact that I dated the hottest girl that worked there, and all these dork managers that were trying to get with her suddenly started handing me the crappiest schedules. To sum up, I really hated that job.
Anyway, I broke down and followed the Black Friday herd. I got to Circuit City at 4am. Stood in line for an hour and a half just to get into the store. Then stood in line for another hour and a half just to pay for the stuff.
Was it worth it? I can’t really say yet. I haven’t set up anything that I bought for myself yet. The stuff I bought to give as gifts seem to be good deals, so at least I got that out of the way. And since I hate shopping, getting that out of the way makes the holidays that much more bearable.
I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again. But I now know what I would do to prepare accordingly. So, you never know. But if there is a next time, I’m definitely taking pictures.
-Dave Q.
I forgot to tell everyone to have a safe and happy Thanksgiving yesterday. Well, I hope you did. I got a ton of text messages from friends wishing me one. I kind of feel bad about that, since I never reply to those mass holiday text messages.
So in case anyone was offended by my lack of replying, I hope all went well. And that you enjoyed you trytophan induced comas. I know I did.
-Dave Q.
Ahhhh yes. Wurstfest. The 10 Day Salute to Sausage.
New Braunfels is a small town, just a 15 minute drive north of San Antonio. It has a strong German heritage, as the name suggests. And once a year, New Braunfels plays host to one of the bigger German themed parties in the country. And beer and sausage are the focus. It’s called Wurstfest. And it’s damn fun.
So on Saturday, we went. We ate. We drank. We took pics. We drank. We danced. And drank some more. Since I’m not a regular at Wurstfest, I am just figuring out the hat thing. Apparently wearing stupid hats is highly recommended.
Let me sum up Wurstfest. If Fiesta is Mardis Gras for Latinos, then Wurstfest is Fiesta for white people. Yeah. That sums it up. Anyway, we had a great time. I highly recommend you go next year.
Seeing all the people walking around eating sausage, I couldn’t help but remember the Broken Lizard film, Beerfest. And the scene with old German whore Cloris Leachman warming up the sausage links. Ha! That was classic.
-Dave Q.
I think I better start working out. I’m feeling sluggish. I’m at the age where you can see your metabolism slowing down. And by that, I mean that if I drink a milkshake, my ass will jiggle for a week. Not that I have much of an ass these days, but that’s a whole other blog post!
Anyway, my good friend (and lousy Call of Duty player) Brian told me about Nike+. It’s a system that allows your iPod to track your running habits, distances, times, etc. To break it down, you put a small trasmitter into your special Nike shoes and it sends a signal to a receiver attached to your iPod. The iPod then stores this information until you download it to your PC. From there, you can track your progress on the Nike+ website. And if you’re feeling a little cocky, challenge some friends with some running. My hope is to set something up on the blog to show my progress to everyone. Maybe you’ll be impressed! Maybe you’ll just point at me and laugh. Screw you. I’m used to it.
Anyway, I’ve got goals here. As I start this, I’m weighing 213 lbs. About 13 lbs more than I’d like. But I think I can take it down to 190 lbs. I’ve done that before. So feel free to follow me on my quest. I am self imposing a deadline of February to be down to 200 lbs. And by April to be at 190 lbs.
Will he succeed? Will he flop? Place your bets!
-Dave Q.
