Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
There is a kid’s cartoon out there called “Dora the Explorer”. A slightly more sophisticated cartoon than the cartoons my buddy Rich watches. 
The “Dora” character goes on little adventures and asks questions to the kids watching. Kind of a way to get them involved. Interactive, almost? Anyway, this character reminds me of someone dear to me. You know who you are.
Here is a clip that came out on Saturday Night Live. A little parody on the “Dora the Explorer” cartoon. This one is called “Maraka”. Pretty funny stuff! Keep in mind if you watch this, that a sense of humor is required. So if it’s not funny to you, then guess what you don’t have?
-Dave Q.
I saw “Blades of Glory” over the weekend. All I can say is, chalk up another one for Will Ferrell. Right now anything he touches turns to gold. Great flick! And the Napolean Dynamite kid did a decent job as well. And for you fans of “The Office”, Pam Beasly also comes out in the film. Bottom line, if you like Will Ferrell, then you are going to love this one.
Watching the previews before “Blades of Glory came on, I came to a realization. I cannot recall a summer where there were so many movies coming out with blockbuster potential! I mean, this could be THE summer for movies. Let’s take notice of a few, shall we?
Spider-Man 3 - Did somebody say “can’t miss hit”?
The Simpsons Movie – I’ve been waiting 20 years for this one.
Ocean’s 13 – They are back in Vegas and hopefully making up for the less than spectacular Ocean’s 12.
Die Hard 4 – John McClane. Yippee-ki-yay, mother%$#&!
Shrek the Third – Should be funny. Not my first choice of course.
Transformers – I will watch it, but I have a gut feeling this one will be a big let down.
Fantastic 4 – Jessica Alba is hot.
Pirates of the Carribean – I liked the first two. Should be a winner.
Rush Hour 3 – Chan and Tucker. Enough said.
The Bourne Ultimatum – Gotta love those spy flicks! Probably will be better than last year’s Bond flick.
Those 10 movies alone. That’s all I want to see this summer. Those and the one with Adam Sandler and Kevin James pretending to be gay firefighters. Why you ask would DQ want to see this film? Two words: Jessica Biel. And I’ll top those two words with these three words: Jessica Biel’s Ass.
-Dave Q.
So Peyton Manning hosted Saturday Nigh Live this past weekend. I was skeptical at first, since most athletes that have hosted, like Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, and Charles Barkley, haven’t done that great a job. But he actually did pretty good. Here are a couple of clips from the show.
At the end of the show, his brothers (Eli and the other non-QB brother) came out with a birthday cake for Peyton while the cast sang him Happy Birthday. I’m no rocket scientist, but I think it was his birthday. Anyway, I’m sure Eli Manning was trying to think of some way to get on SNL, so he probably cooked this up. Apparently only Super Bowl Championship Quarterbacks get to host SNL. So God knows that was the only way Eli was going to get on there. Litte draft-dodging douchebag.
-Dave Q.
This weekend my little sister went to a rodeo in Houston. She lives in San Diego. She flew into Houston for a rodeo. A
friggin’ rodeo!! I don’t even go to the rodeo when they have it here! My brother-in-law is a cowboy. No joke. Well, it’s more of a side job now I guess because he is also a Medic in Iraq. But the influence he has had on my sister is unbelieveable! She is now all about country. I remember when she used to like Depeche Mode and The Cure. No, wait. That’s the other sister. This one used to like Olivia Newton-John.
I know people have different tastes. But what is the big appeal about the rodeo? I went once and all I can remember is that it smelled bad. Shania Twain was there and she did help distract me. But let’s face it, she’s not going to be there every time.
Anyway, my parents met up with my sister in Houston to give her a laptop I had for her. She is in grad school and needs it to do whatever it is grad students do. I hope she gets some good use out of it, ends up getting her masters, which will lead to a PhD, which will lead to lots of money, which will lead to really cool gifts on my birthday.
I just pray it doesn’t lead to her doing some online shopping for saddles and rocky roads. Or rocky mountains. Or whatever they call those cowgirl jeans.
-Dave Q.
I hate several professional sports teams. This list includes the New York Yankees, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Dallas Cowboys (really any team with that jackass T.O. on their team), and finally, Duke. Say what you want, but these teams get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to officiating and calls that can go either way. Almost always. Like 95% of the time. So when any of these teams are eliminated from a possible championship run, it puts me in an awesome mood.
Guess what? I’m in an awesome mood!
Duke is out of the tournament! 11th seeded VCU defeated Duke last night. VCU’s Eric Maynor hit a 17 foot jumper to sink the Blue Devils with 1.8 seconds left. Ready for the irony? Duke could have recruited this kid, but they felt he wasn’t good enough to make their team. Haha!
So, it’s like I always say. If you can’t join them, beat them with a 17 foot jumper with 1.8 seconds left at the NCAA tournament! Or something like that. And if you despise Duke basketball as much as I do, then you will enjoy watching the video below.
-Dave Q.
This was too funny not to post. If you don’t think this is funny, then your family probably thinks you’re gay. And so does your dog.
I’ll warn you now that the audio is kind of crappy. But the lyrics are worth the listen. If this kid wrote the song, then he’s got talent.
-Dave Q.
Last night was our first softball game of the season. My buddy has a co-ed team I am playing for. The team name is the Tappa-Keggas. Catchy, huh? Anyway, the team has potential. There are some good players on the squad and everyone seems to get along pretty good. To me, that is more important than winning. Having a good time with your friends should be the goal. In case you are wondering, we are playing in the least competitive league. That should be obvious with me being on the team.
Things got a little crazy in the game for me. At one of my at-bats, I hit a hard grounder to shortstop (Truth be told, it probably wasn’t hit that hard, but it’s my story to tell. 
).As I am running down the baseline, I see the cute blonde girl playing first base block the base path in an obvious attempt to catch the throw from shortstop. From where she is standing and how fast (or slow) I was running, I can see that the ball is about to hit me. So I duck and turn my head to my right hoping to avoid the incoming throw. Well, the cute blonde, focused as ever, is going for the catch when the back of my head collides with the left side of her face. WHAM! We both hit the dirt.
I am face down, hand touching first base, with a throbbing headache. I look up and see the blonde on her knees, holding the side of her face, with a tear going down her cheek. All she kept saying was “Are you alright? I’m sorry.” I was a little woozy, but overall ok. I actually have a small bump on my head as I type this. The girl was a trooper. I imagine she is still feeling it. She stayed in the game, but at catcher. She was a little too traumatized to play first base anymore. And after it was realized that everyone was ok, our respective teammates gave us a hard time.
We ended up winning 12-9. A nice start to the season. So what was the highlight of the night you may ask? Was it the inside-the-park home run I hit on my first at bat? No. My dazzling defense in left field? Of course not (since I didn’t really do anything on defense). I would have to say it was the collision. Or at least the result of it. Because after everything got straightened out, an unnamed teammate came up to me and said “Dude! After you and the blonde girl collided, I could see her purple thong while she was slumped over!” Impressive, since she was wearing a purple shirt (she’s a “matcher”!). But what’s even better is having a quality teammate that looks out for you with important information like that.
-Dave Q.
I got this video emailed to me from a friend up north. Very funny, I guess. I figured I would put this up so those that know me would get a good laugh. And those that don’t know me can watch an overall horribly put together video. Awesome special effects? No.
You know how there was a Bizarro Superman? Basically a version of Superman from another dimension. Similar to the Man of Steel in some ways, but vastly different in others (Bizarro Superman was a villain). Point being, this is the Bizarro David Quesada. By watching the video, you can see that we share similarities. We have the same name. We both “dabble” in IT. And we both have friends we have to protect. But there are some distinct differences. Such as his superior physique to my own. Oh how someday I want to look like the Bizarro DQ. Dude has gotta be doing triathlons twice a month.
-The Real Dave Q.
