Author Archive
I don’t know a whole lot about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Apparently she used to be famous in the 90’s for being on a TV show. Saved By The Bell, maybe? Who knows. It matters not. Because for whatever reason her career took a nose dive, it has thankfully led to this.
It’s not Victoria’s Secret, but it’ll work! So now she is doing add for Hanes underwear. Not too shabby. And after watching the video below, all I can say is, nice rack nose! This definitely has gotten my attention, which is what advertising is all about, right? So the ads and commercials have done their job in that regard.
Where they have failed, however, is in getting me to spend any money. You see, my drawers are already Hanes. The ‘Hanes His Way’ collection, to be exact. I now apologize for the visuals.
-Dave Q.
This was too funny not to post. If you don’t think this is funny, then your family probably thinks you’re gay. And so does your dog.
I’ll warn you now that the audio is kind of crappy. But the lyrics are worth the listen. If this kid wrote the song, then he’s got talent.
-Dave Q.
The super hot girl with the provocative internet pics got voted off of American Idol last night. I’ve never seen the show except for one episode during the tryout stage and all the YouTube clips my buddy Brian is forcing me to watch. But from what I have seen, there is NO reason why she should have been voted off! I mean, did you see those pictures? ? The girl is smokin’! Antonella is so hot, she makes my hair hurt.
Again, someone is telling me that this is a singing contest. I heard her sing. And I’ve heard worse. Doesn’t her hotness count for anything? Oh well. It’s not like anyone should feel sorry for her. I’m sure she’ll be making the rounds on Maxim and Playboy over the next few months. Meaning we will get to see more of her true talent.
-Dave Q.
A mini fridge that can throw a nice cold one to you? Yup. Some guy with way too much time on his hands has built a beer launching refridgerator. It can “throw” a beer to someone approximately 13 feet away. And now the inventor is offering to build one for you for the very low price $1500 a pop. Hmmmmm. Where can I find $1500 to waste?
You’ve got to admire the creativeness and enginuity involved. It really makes me proud to know we have people out there like this trying to figure out ways to make us even lazier. God knows I need all the help I can get in that department.
-Dave Q.
Last night was our first softball game of the season. My buddy has a co-ed team I am playing for. The team name is the Tappa-Keggas. Catchy, huh? Anyway, the team has potential. There are some good players on the squad and everyone seems to get along pretty good. To me, that is more important than winning. Having a good time with your friends should be the goal. In case you are wondering, we are playing in the least competitive league. That should be obvious with me being on the team.
Things got a little crazy in the game for me. At one of my at-bats, I hit a hard grounder to shortstop (Truth be told, it probably wasn’t hit that hard, but it’s my story to tell. 
).As I am running down the baseline, I see the cute blonde girl playing first base block the base path in an obvious attempt to catch the throw from shortstop. From where she is standing and how fast (or slow) I was running, I can see that the ball is about to hit me. So I duck and turn my head to my right hoping to avoid the incoming throw. Well, the cute blonde, focused as ever, is going for the catch when the back of my head collides with the left side of her face. WHAM! We both hit the dirt.
I am face down, hand touching first base, with a throbbing headache. I look up and see the blonde on her knees, holding the side of her face, with a tear going down her cheek. All she kept saying was “Are you alright? I’m sorry.” I was a little woozy, but overall ok. I actually have a small bump on my head as I type this. The girl was a trooper. I imagine she is still feeling it. She stayed in the game, but at catcher. She was a little too traumatized to play first base anymore. And after it was realized that everyone was ok, our respective teammates gave us a hard time.
We ended up winning 12-9. A nice start to the season. So what was the highlight of the night you may ask? Was it the inside-the-park home run I hit on my first at bat? No. My dazzling defense in left field? Of course not (since I didn’t really do anything on defense). I would have to say it was the collision. Or at least the result of it. Because after everything got straightened out, an unnamed teammate came up to me and said “Dude! After you and the blonde girl collided, I could see her purple thong while she was slumped over!” Impressive, since she was wearing a purple shirt (she’s a “matcher”!). But what’s even better is having a quality teammate that looks out for you with important information like that.
-Dave Q.
Hillary Clinton is a phony. No shocker there. And that goes for Barack Obama as well. And all politicians for that matter. It’s part of their job to deceive. It’s instinct to them. Kind of like salmon swimming up river. So I wasn’t surprised when it came up that Hillary was in Alabama speaking at a black church with a thick southern accent. Isn’t this lady from Illinois? I mean, before she claimed to be a New Yorker?
Leave it to Fox News to point this out and put it on the air. They are very biased to the conservative base just like CNN is to the liberals. That being said, I get my news from the only news source I can trust. That’s right. The Weekend Update on SNL. Or online at www.theonion.com.
Anyway, I am amazed at how quickly all these candidates have come out of the shoot. The election isn’t until 2008. Yet here we are. At least it provides for some entertainment. Tuning into Saturday Night Live during Presidential election season is priceless. May the least corrupt candidate win.
-Dave Q.
I got this video emailed to me from a friend up north. Very funny, I guess. I figured I would put this up so those that know me would get a good laugh. And those that don’t know me can watch an overall horribly put together video. Awesome special effects? No.
You know how there was a Bizarro Superman? Basically a version of Superman from another dimension. Similar to the Man of Steel in some ways, but vastly different in others (Bizarro Superman was a villain). Point being, this is the Bizarro David Quesada. By watching the video, you can see that we share similarities. We have the same name. We both “dabble” in IT. And we both have friends we have to protect. But there are some distinct differences. Such as his superior physique to my own. Oh how someday I want to look like the Bizarro DQ. Dude has gotta be doing triathlons twice a month.
-The Real Dave Q.
So my little sister was in town this past week from San Diego. She and my parents call me to tell me they were going to dinner and if I would like to come along. I figured I could go and spend some quality time with the family and enjoy a glass of water. Nope. I caved in. But my rationale is that how often is my sister in town? That we all get to hang out and have dinner? It’s not my fault she came during Lent. It’s her fault. 
So anyway, I ate Saturday night. I didn’t eat red meat or drink iced tea or alcohol. But I did eat after 5pm. But I’m hoping by picking up the tab that I made up for my mishap. 35 days to go. Damn I want a cheeseburger.
-Dave Q.
