Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
I don’t know a whole lot about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Apparently she used to be famous in the 90’s for being on a TV show. Saved By The Bell, maybe? Who knows. It matters not. Because for whatever reason her career took a nose dive, it has thankfully led to this.
It’s not Victoria’s Secret, but it’ll work! So now she is doing add for Hanes underwear. Not too shabby. And after watching the video below, all I can say is, nice rack nose! This definitely has gotten my attention, which is what advertising is all about, right? So the ads and commercials have done their job in that regard.
Where they have failed, however, is in getting me to spend any money. You see, my drawers are already Hanes. The ‘Hanes His Way’ collection, to be exact. I now apologize for the visuals.
-Dave Q.
Last night was our first softball game of the season. My buddy has a co-ed team I am playing for. The team name is the Tappa-Keggas. Catchy, huh? Anyway, the team has potential. There are some good players on the squad and everyone seems to get along pretty good. To me, that is more important than winning. Having a good time with your friends should be the goal. In case you are wondering, we are playing in the least competitive league. That should be obvious with me being on the team.
Things got a little crazy in the game for me. At one of my at-bats, I hit a hard grounder to shortstop (Truth be told, it probably wasn’t hit that hard, but it’s my story to tell. 
).As I am running down the baseline, I see the cute blonde girl playing first base block the base path in an obvious attempt to catch the throw from shortstop. From where she is standing and how fast (or slow) I was running, I can see that the ball is about to hit me. So I duck and turn my head to my right hoping to avoid the incoming throw. Well, the cute blonde, focused as ever, is going for the catch when the back of my head collides with the left side of her face. WHAM! We both hit the dirt.
I am face down, hand touching first base, with a throbbing headache. I look up and see the blonde on her knees, holding the side of her face, with a tear going down her cheek. All she kept saying was “Are you alright? I’m sorry.” I was a little woozy, but overall ok. I actually have a small bump on my head as I type this. The girl was a trooper. I imagine she is still feeling it. She stayed in the game, but at catcher. She was a little too traumatized to play first base anymore. And after it was realized that everyone was ok, our respective teammates gave us a hard time.
We ended up winning 12-9. A nice start to the season. So what was the highlight of the night you may ask? Was it the inside-the-park home run I hit on my first at bat? No. My dazzling defense in left field? Of course not (since I didn’t really do anything on defense). I would have to say it was the collision. Or at least the result of it. Because after everything got straightened out, an unnamed teammate came up to me and said “Dude! After you and the blonde girl collided, I could see her purple thong while she was slumped over!” Impressive, since she was wearing a purple shirt (she’s a “matcher”!). But what’s even better is having a quality teammate that looks out for you with important information like that.
-Dave Q.
I got this video emailed to me from a friend up north. Very funny, I guess. I figured I would put this up so those that know me would get a good laugh. And those that don’t know me can watch an overall horribly put together video. Awesome special effects? No.
You know how there was a Bizarro Superman? Basically a version of Superman from another dimension. Similar to the Man of Steel in some ways, but vastly different in others (Bizarro Superman was a villain). Point being, this is the Bizarro David Quesada. By watching the video, you can see that we share similarities. We have the same name. We both “dabble” in IT. And we both have friends we have to protect. But there are some distinct differences. Such as his superior physique to my own. Oh how someday I want to look like the Bizarro DQ. Dude has gotta be doing triathlons twice a month.
-The Real Dave Q.
So my little sister was in town this past week from San Diego. She and my parents call me to tell me they were going to dinner and if I would like to come along. I figured I could go and spend some quality time with the family and enjoy a glass of water. Nope. I caved in. But my rationale is that how often is my sister in town? That we all get to hang out and have dinner? It’s not my fault she came during Lent. It’s her fault. 
So anyway, I ate Saturday night. I didn’t eat red meat or drink iced tea or alcohol. But I did eat after 5pm. But I’m hoping by picking up the tab that I made up for my mishap. 35 days to go. Damn I want a cheeseburger.
-Dave Q.
A dog park was recently built in my part of town. For those of you not familiar with this concept, it’s basically a fenced in area where dog owners can go to let their dogs run wild and sniff each other. Doggy bliss!
Now I know I may not be the ideal dog owner. And sometimes I forget I have dogs. But I do love them and think of them as family. So after hearing about it, I decide to take the mutts over there. I figured they could use the work out. And it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if they got exhausted from all the running around and actually slept through the night without barking at airplanes.
So we get there. I have Max and Murphy on leashes. Most of the dogs in the park are off their leashes, so I decide to let these two run around. They go exploring. So far, so good. I myself go walking around and Max and Murph just follow me. I think to myself, “Everything is alright”. That’s when things got a little hairy.
MURPHY’S MUG SHOT
An older man and his wife come up to me asking what kind of dog Max is, saying they were curious because their dog has similar features. I am about to answer them when their dog comes up running to them. I guess from a different angle, it looked like the dog was running up to me, because Murphy went bonkers! When their dog got about 2 feet away from me, Murphy jumped all over him. Barking. Biting. Growling.
The older man and I separated the dogs, neither one showing much battle damage. At that point I figured it was a good time to get them home. I was proud for the most part on how they behaved. Any embarassment would have to be reserved for the older man. Because all I heard from him when we were separating the dogs was, “Honey Bear! No Honey Bear! Honey Bear, stop!”. Imagine letting all those people in the park your dog is named Honey Bear. I bet he had a long drive home.
-Dave Q.
So far so good. No fatalities to report. I did almost murder a roommate after he decided to drink a tall glass of sweet iced tea in front of me. But I thought better of it. Besides, he needs to pay me rent today.
-Dave Q.
Today is my first day back working in a facility that I haven’t been at in about 3 years. This is the site that I first started out at, so it’s a homecoming of sorts. Except that there is about a 90% change in the people that were here back then to who is here today. I barely recognize most of these people. And I’ve already gotten the “who are you?” look from a couple of people. They don’t realize I’ve been with the company for over 6 years. But there are a few familiar faces. Namely my good friend Brian. A fellow IT Analyst.
This is me and Brian in this building about 4 years ago. Look at me then. So young. So vibrant. So full of life. Not a care in the world. And Brian. He, unfortunately, still looks like this. He and I go way back. Kind of like Han Solo and Chewbacca. Naturally, Brian would be Chewbacca, since he’s taller. And ugly as sin. ;) That might be too harsh. Let’s just say he’s not as good looking as Chewbacca. Yeah. That’s sounds better.
Anyway, it’s good to be back. I will miss my friends from the other facility I was at. They took care of me. Particularly, Maria, Hilda, and Romy. They would always hook me up with breakfast. Which was good since 83% of the time I was running too late to pick it up myself. I am fairly certain I won’t get that kind of love here. But I’ll survive. I think…
-Dave Q.
I’m not going to pretend to be the most punctual person on the planet. Or even the most punctual person on my tram at work. I’m not a punctual guy. I’m for the most part always late. There. I said it. However, every now and then by some miracle of God, I actually do roll out of bed on time to make it to my glorious job on or ahead of schedule. It’s rare, but it happens. For example, it happened this morning. But I still didn’t get to work on time. Why, you may ask? Traffic. Oh how I hate traffic. So irritating.
And to make things even better, it was traffic that could have been prevented. Let me explain. As I am sitting in the right lane wondering what the hold up is, I start to notice all the cars ahead of me put their left turn signals on. So obviously there in an obstruction of some kind in my lane.
My first thought is, if there was an accident, I hope everyone is ok. The last thing anyone wants to see is some kind of tragedy. So as I finally creep up to be able to see what happened, I catch a glimpse. Then I get pissed. A fender bender. 3 cars. 3 women on their cell phones looking at the damage. 1 car horn that apparently took a hit and wouldn’t shut off.
So now I’m late. All because one of these lovely ladies (And don’t accuse me of being sexist. They could have been dudes and I would still be cursing them.) was probably on their cell phone and not paying attention to what they were doing. So I did the only thing I could do as I creeped by the scene of the crime at 4 mph. I gave them the stare of death. Not that it made a bit of difference. But it did make me feel a little better. And I can only hope it made the one responsible feel like #$!*&.
-Dave Q.
