Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
Clay Aiken finally came out of the closet today. Let me see. How can I put my reaction to this dramatic revelation into words. I’m going to give it a try here, so bare with me. Here goes: DUH!
I don’t like Clay Aiken. It’s not because he’s gay. It’s because he sucks. Just thought I would clarify.
-Dave Q.
I know earlier this week some jackass hacked into Sarah Palin’s personal email. I hope it was worth the jail time, buddy. Anyway, looks like the same thing now happened to Obama. Damn these ever-so-clever hackers. Click on the image to enlarge.
I love the email exchange between Obama and Cheney. Looks legit to me. 
-Dave Q.
I don’t think I have ever watched an episode of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I’m not even sure which network it’s on. Bur apparently way before she turned the race for the Presidency upside down, Sarah Palin was a fan of his show. And she made an offer to make Ferguson an honarary Alaskan.
What Ferguson says at the end there is pretty damn accurate. You expect a Governor to look a certain way. You don’t expect a governor to have the “hot librarian” look. So how does all this come into play with this year’s election? Heck if I know. I just thought it was a funny video.
-Dave Q.
- Flight to Hawaii… $0 (long story)
- Jeep rental… $150
- Digital camera… $300
- Making the most of your time with your niece and nephew while waiting for your sister as she runs an errand at the store… PRICELESS.
-Dave Q.
Keeping on with the Olympics stuff and Amanda Beard, check out this report below of Amanda Beard dissing Michael Phelps.
I like Michael Phelps. Seems to be a humble guy. A specimen of an athlete. But I have told more than one person during these Olympics that, quite frankly, the dude looks like a dork. And some say he dresses like a douchebag. He’s a winner, no doubting that. And I admire him for his accomplishments and representing the USA. But those Gold Medals around his neck are the proverbial porkchops that people would joke about hanging on an ugly kid to get the dog to play with him. If Michael Phelps weren’t a Gold Medal winning Olympian, he would have trouble getting laid.
And let’s take this a step further, Amanda Beard is attractive. Out of the water, she is attractive. Serving me an entree at Olive Garden, she is attractive. Ringing me up at Home Depot, she is attractive. And let’s face it, folks, she could do a lot better than Michael Phelps. I mean, have you really taken a good look at this guy? Is this a face chicks are attracted to? Why would Amanda Beard go for that?
These CNN commentators are full of shit if they think for one minute that Michael Phelps is a good looking guy and throwing Amanda Beard under the bus for her Playboy and Maxim spreads. These people lips are so vacuumed sealed on to Michael Phelps’ ass it’s ridiculous. Perhaps they want an interview? But, hey… he is an Olympic legend now. And a bright shining star of a celebrity. Big time accomplishments. Big deal if hot chicks don’t want to sleep with him.
-Dave Q.
There are times in life when you can do the right thing for your country. When the cries of those regular people getting screwed by the government on a daily basis can’t be tuned out anymore, you must act. And considering the two candidates we have to choose from, somebody has to step up to the plate. Because, quite frankly, they both suck.
I have been waiting for a third option. Hoping for another choice. And so far, zip. Well, my fellow Americans, someone has to step up to the plate. And I am that someone. Today, I am announcing my candidacy for President of the World United States. I mean, I don’t think I can do any worse than McCain and Obama.
Ever since the Primaries were settled, I have been telling people that I probably wouldn’t vote, since I have no confidence in either candidate. But I myself have always been pretty self-confident. So there you go. A candidate I can be confident about!
Since I am so confident I will win, I went ahead and offered my VP slot to Brian. He said no. Then I bought him a Dr. Pepper. VP position filled.
-Dave Q.
I have to thank my buddy Norm for this one…
This Snickers ad featuring Mr. T. was recently pulled because some morons consider it ‘homophobic’. Please. Are you telling me that only gay people do speed walking? Give me a break.
Homophobic? Nope. Funny? Hell yes!
The ad was being aired in the U.K., but apparently someone in the USA got Snickers to stop airing it. Way to make real Americans proud, ass-clown.
-Dave Q.
Election years are really a drag to me. I hear about the scandals. The mud slinging. The attack ads. It get old pretty damn quick. In fact there are only two things I can look forward to on an election year. Clever poltical sketches on Saturday Night Live, and a JibJab cartoon.
This is the latest from JibJab.com. Not as funny as the one that came out in 2004,but not bad. You can even insert a picture of yourself and email it to friends. Let me find a pic where I look annoyed and getting screwed at the same time. Would be perfect for this political season.
-Dave Q.
