Archive for July, 2007

Got the other bag in yesterday. Everything was in the bag, and then some. I found mold growing on clothes. Trust me when I say it wasn’t there before.

So I am writing yet another letter to Continental Airlines, if that is their real name. I have no idea what to expect from them, but I am determined to try to get something out of it. If any of you have ever experienced a lost luggage headache like this one, I’d like to hear if you got compensated or not.  I want justice!

-Dave Q.

I’ve been doing some thinking after looking over a couple of my magazine subscriptions. GQ Magazine had Jessica Alba on the cover of it’s June issue. And this month’s issue has Jessica Biel gracing the cover. One can arguably say that these two girls are the hottest female commodities in Hollywood right now. But if you had to choose one, who would it be? Damn. This one is really, really tough. And I promise I’m not being sarcastic… for once. If I were making a movie, here is what I would take into consideration when picking my leading Jessica:


Backgrounds: Both come from good, wholesome, family shows as child stars. Biel used to star in ultra religious 7th Heaven. Alba starred in the the Disney Channel’s modern adaptaion of Flipper. This is kind of a boring category, so I won’t put too much value on it. ADVANTAGE: DRAW

Current Projects: Both have movies coming out soon. Alba is starring in “Good Luck Chuck”, which comes out later this summer. Her romantic interest in the film is Dane Cook. That guy blows. I mean, Dane Cook? That’s the best they could do? Makes me wonder if it’s going to be a comedy or not. Because, well, that guy isn’t funny. Biel is co-starring with Adam Sandler and Keving James in “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”. That one looks like it might be worth watching. And what’s with the name “Chuck” in these movies? ***Just a quick note that they will both be showing a good amount of skin, so it may be worthwhile to see both movies. Twice.*** ADVANTAGE: BIEL

Physical Appearance: Alba has the more exotic look. Definitely has a good figure. And can be versatile. She can play her latin self, or even play a blonde, blue eyed superhero (Fantastic 4) or blonde, (insert eye color) stripper (Sin City). Although Biel is more limited in what she can do with her appearance so far, she does have a more defined physique. Nicer curves. She’s got that tattoo I’m not a fan of, but Alba has the piercing. As a bonus, they both look like they enjoy playing sports! Damn. This is a tough one. Hmmmmm. ADVANTAGE: BIEL

Personal Lives: I don’t really hear much about Alba. And surprisingly, this is a good thing. The less I know about a celebrity’s personal life, the less likely I am to stop caring about their projects. Having said that, I understand that Biel is dating the very manly Justin Timberlake. Seriously, Biel? I know that’s not the best you can do. That guy sucks. I’d rather she go lesbian. Right now. ADVANTAGE: ALBA

Acting Ability: Uh-huh… Yeah… Next category please… ADVANTAGE: DRAW

Potential: I think Biel has huge potential. But I’m not all that keen on her decision making abilities, as in the scripts she chooses. At least so far there hasn’t been a clear cut break-through movie of hers. On the other hand, Alba has ‘Sin City’ on her resume. And a sequel to it coming up. So she gets points for that. And also Alba seems to have the more out going personality. I thought she did a good job on the MTV movie awards last year. ADVANTAGE: ALBA

So in conclusion, the choice is clear. If I were making a movie, I would have to choose… both of them. Check out this plot! Alba would be framed for murder, escape from custody, and go on the run. Biel can be a bounty hunter, kicking ass all the way until she nabs Alba. Then, somehow or another, Biel decides to help Alba, and they both go out to prove her innocence by finding the real killer. And one night after a couple of drinks in the hot tub… you know. ;) Now, what no-talent Jessica could I get to play the villain?

Go ahead and start engraving that Oscar now. That’s Quesada with a “Q”. Thanks.

-Dave Q.

Dear (alleged) friends,

You tricked me. Completely pulled the wool over my eyes. I saw the “film”. I ended up wasting 2 hours and 24 minutes of my life. 2 hours and 24 minutes I could have wasted doing something else, like watching ESPN Classic, or sleeping. I’m not sure what I did to all of you, but it must have been bad. Or maybe you are all just mean spirited people who get kicks in knowing that you have sent someone to sit and suffer through a film with a horrible plot, pitiful acting, and a pathetic excuse for a script. Honestly, I wonder if anyone involved in the making of that movie had ever watched the cartoons as a kid.

More than meets the eye?

Anyway, you got me good. Completely posterized me. Bravo. Congratulations (clap, clap, clap). I hope you all can sleep at night. And if you do, you are all probably dreaming of kicking puppies.

I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But you’ll get yours. Karma is a crazy thing. And Karma might have you sitting through a chick flick. Hopefully one with Barbara Streissand. Or Susan Sarandon. Or both. And for any females that said I should go watch it, I hope you miss a shoe sale or something.

-Dave Q.

One duffle bag has been returned.  The other, still lost somewhere in the black hole that lost luggage gets sucked into.  My duffle bag that was returned wasn’t without damage.  Some clothes got some kind of mold growing on them.  The only moisture I found in the bag was from a shampoo bottle that busted open, and of course, got all over some clothes. 

I should stop complaining so much.  I am glad to get some stuff back, like my favorite flip-flops and jeans.  But I want ALL the stuff back.  It’s now been 18 days since the luggage was lost.  I still blame Continental Airlines for starting the screw-up domino effect.  We’ll see what they do to keep me as a customer.  I’ll keep you posted.

-Dave Q.

My buddy Horbi showed this one to me. This is from the British version of American Idol. Or America’s Got Talent. Whatever. Anyway, this dude has got some pipes! And it’s a pretty emotional moment. Watch his rendition of Andrea Bocelli’s ‘Nessun Dorma’, and you’ll know what I mean.

Now, I think it’s fair to say that I’m not what you would call an emotional guy. If you know me personally, you know this is the case. But after I saw this, I cried non-stop for a good 45 minutes. Horbi had to go buy me two bottles of water from the cafeteria here at work because I was so dehydrated. I literally ran out of tears!

Ok. Maybe I’m exaggerating. But it does tug on your heartstrings a bit. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I do have a heart

-Dave Q.

I already can’t stand Hillary Clinton. For whatever reason, whether it’s her political stances, her annoying voice, or just her monumental bitch persona, I just don’t like the dude woman. If there is one sure fire way to guarantee that I don’t vote Demorcat in 2008, it’s having this broad as the candidate.


So you can now add another reason why I can’t stand Hillary Clinton. Are you ready for this one? Apparently, girls are starting to find her attractive. Or at least this one does in this Hot 4 Hill video below. This is immediate cause for concern, since this girl doesn’t look too bad. I mean, if anyone women are going to be attracted to Hillary Clinton, shouldn’t they, you know, be butch like Hillary?

I don’t recognize the girl in the video, but apparently she is somewhat of a celebrity. Her name is Taryn Southern, an American Idol reject from a couple of years ago. It looks like she really digs Hillary. And at the same time she must hate men. And also children. Or at least I assume she hates children by putting them in this video and subjecting them to this political garbage. I mean, come on. The little kids are singing for Hillary. Oh! How adorable! They love her! We must make her our leader! Give me a break.

So yes, I despise Hillary Clinton. More so now than ever. How dare she start attracting decent looking girls! You know, I don’t know of any man that finds Hillary Clinton attractive. And that includes Bill. Do you really think Bill is attracted to this? Well, then again, he did get it on with Monica Lewinski. It’s like Bill is playing Dr Seuss. Except that Dr. Seuss’ version of Thing 1 and Thing 2 didn’t give a grown man nightmares.

Thing 1 Thing 2

I remember when I was in high school and Clinton was in his first term as President. Sometime during the second year of that term, my Mom got a new dog. It was a small, beagle like dog they she named “Maggie”. Well, my Dad has never called it by her name. Instead, he calls her “Hillary”. And he still does today. That’s a true story. And a wise man.

-Dave Q.

My buddy Brian sent this one to me. It’s from the new HBO show “Flight of the Conchords”. If your sense of humor doesn’t suck, then you will be laughing with this one. If your sense of humor does suck,… well… you’ve got bigger problems and should probably be addressing them.

In case you don’t know, the singers/actors in this are Kiwis. New Zealanders for you un-hip types. So if you don’t quite catch what he says, it may be due to his accent. Or just different phrases he uses, like “my mate, Dave”. So you may want to play it more than once to get the full affect. Unless you’re a Kiwi. Then you probably got it the first time.


-Dave Q.

Where do I start…

I went to Spain and Portugal for 10 days. Guess what? The airline lost my luggage. I don’t know who exactly is at fault, but either Continental or Air France really screwed the pooch on this one. As I type this, neither one can tell me where the luggage is. Way to go, assholes.

This forced my hand into buying clothes over there. Let me tell you something about European clothes: They are expensive as hell and ugly as sin. So time that I had planned for exploring and leisure had to be used for shopping. And dear Lord do I hate shopping! So I fully plan on getting reimbursed for all the jacked up clothes I had to buy there. And they better give me some compensation for losing my luggage. My favorite pair of flip-flops were in there. And to me those were priceless.

The hotels on the trip sucked. Small rooms. Smaller bathrooms. No irons? Please. So not only were the euro-clothes crappy, but I couldn’t iron them. Seriously folks. No irons. And these were 4 star hotels, allegedly. They must be buying their hotel ratings from the same guys peddling bootleg copies of Transformers and Shrek 3 on the streets there.

I couldn’t believe how rude the Portugese are. I hope the small group of them I encountered don’t accurately represent the majority. Those bastards would ignore or look right though you if you asked them a question.  The French people I encountered were more pleasant.  Imagine that.

It wasn’t a total loss.  I did see some cool stuff on the trip. There is no denying that. And I did meet some cool people as well. I met some Aussies, some Brits, some Canucks. And they all helped me drink away the anger on a couple of nights. So I guess the trip wasn’t a total loss. Just lots of frustrations on our end.

One last note. I just heard that the luggage has been located by Air France. It’s in London. Motherf&%$rs!!!!

-Dave Q.

July 2007
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Today's Deep Thought

  • The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he thought, "this watering hole is reserved for skeletons."