Today is the day boys and girls! The beginning of the NCAA tournament! One of the better sporting events of the year. Definitely more interesting than the Stanley Cup or The Masters. But not as interesting as women’s beach volleyball. 
So the tourney kicks off with Maryland and some poor school called Davidson. Sadly, it will probably be an ugly beat down for Davidson. I will be pulling for most of the underdogs in the tournament, so if Davidson pulls off a shocker, I’m cool with that. But my bracket won’t be happy.
My Final Four picks consist of Notre Dame, Ohio State, North Carolina, and Kansas, with Notre Dame winning the whole damn thing. I am well aware that the Irish winning the championship is a looooooooong shot, but stranger things have happened. Overall, I just want an exciting tournament. Some solid, gritty play. A couple of buzzer beaters to advance would be nice. And Duke losing is always fun.
GO IRISH!!!
-Dave Q.
23 days down. 23 days to go. This hasn’t been easy for me. Especially the no drinking alcohol part. That has been brutal! Not because I’m a big drinker or anything, but because I have been bombarded with events that you need to drink at to have a good time.
For example, last Saturday was a bachelor party I had to attend. Why was I not enthusiastic? Can’t drink. Where’s the fun there? And St. Patty’s Day is around the corner. A bunch of friends are going bar hopping, so naturally it would be stupid for me to go. I guess I could be the designated driver, but why should I have to suffer by listening to all that sweet drunk talk?
Bottom line is, I am going to think twice thrice before sacrificing alcohol again. Too hard. And being Catholic, I should be drinking wine at church, right? So, yeah. It may have been a little counterproductive.
-Dave Q.
There is a pond in San Francisco (leave it to the hippies) that is the home of man-eating frogs. No joke! Environmentalists aren’t sure how the African clawed frogs got there, but they are apparently eating turtles, fish, and small children! Well, maybe not small children…. yet!
The frogs can grow up to 5 inches in length. Park officials have caught and destroyed over 2000 of them in recent years, but they keep coming back. They are now wanting to drain the pond and terminate them once and for all.
The latest news has them going cannibalistic. So basically after they eat everything in sight, they turn on each other! I say let them eat each other. That would solve the problem until you have one left. Granted, it will be a huge mutated man-eating frog by then. Then what do you do? Send in Arnold the Governator! Can you see it now? Ah-nuld vs. the giant mutant frog to save San Francisco?!!? That spells BLOCKBUSTER on the silver screen! I’ll get started on the script…
-Dave Q.
I don’t know a whole lot about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Apparently she used to be famous in the 90’s for being on a TV show. Saved By The Bell, maybe? Who knows. It matters not. Because for whatever reason her career took a nose dive, it has thankfully led to this.
It’s not Victoria’s Secret, but it’ll work! So now she is doing add for Hanes underwear. Not too shabby. And after watching the video below, all I can say is, nice rack nose! This definitely has gotten my attention, which is what advertising is all about, right? So the ads and commercials have done their job in that regard.
Where they have failed, however, is in getting me to spend any money. You see, my drawers are already Hanes. The ‘Hanes His Way’ collection, to be exact. I now apologize for the visuals.
-Dave Q.
This was too funny not to post. If you don’t think this is funny, then your family probably thinks you’re gay. And so does your dog.
I’ll warn you now that the audio is kind of crappy. But the lyrics are worth the listen. If this kid wrote the song, then he’s got talent.
-Dave Q.
The super hot girl with the provocative internet pics got voted off of American Idol last night. I’ve never seen the show except for one episode during the tryout stage and all the YouTube clips my buddy Brian is forcing me to watch. But from what I have seen, there is NO reason why she should have been voted off! I mean, did you see those pictures? ? The girl is smokin’! Antonella is so hot, she makes my hair hurt.
Again, someone is telling me that this is a singing contest. I heard her sing. And I’ve heard worse. Doesn’t her hotness count for anything? Oh well. It’s not like anyone should feel sorry for her. I’m sure she’ll be making the rounds on Maxim and Playboy over the next few months. Meaning we will get to see more of her true talent.
-Dave Q.
A mini fridge that can throw a nice cold one to you? Yup. Some guy with way too much time on his hands has built a beer launching refridgerator. It can “throw” a beer to someone approximately 13 feet away. And now the inventor is offering to build one for you for the very low price $1500 a pop. Hmmmmm. Where can I find $1500 to waste?
You’ve got to admire the creativeness and enginuity involved. It really makes me proud to know we have people out there like this trying to figure out ways to make us even lazier. God knows I need all the help I can get in that department.
-Dave Q.
Last night was our first softball game of the season. My buddy has a co-ed team I am playing for. The team name is the Tappa-Keggas. Catchy, huh? Anyway, the team has potential. There are some good players on the squad and everyone seems to get along pretty good. To me, that is more important than winning. Having a good time with your friends should be the goal. In case you are wondering, we are playing in the least competitive league. That should be obvious with me being on the team.
Things got a little crazy in the game for me. At one of my at-bats, I hit a hard grounder to shortstop (Truth be told, it probably wasn’t hit that hard, but it’s my story to tell. 
).As I am running down the baseline, I see the cute blonde girl playing first base block the base path in an obvious attempt to catch the throw from shortstop. From where she is standing and how fast (or slow) I was running, I can see that the ball is about to hit me. So I duck and turn my head to my right hoping to avoid the incoming throw. Well, the cute blonde, focused as ever, is going for the catch when the back of my head collides with the left side of her face. WHAM! We both hit the dirt.
I am face down, hand touching first base, with a throbbing headache. I look up and see the blonde on her knees, holding the side of her face, with a tear going down her cheek. All she kept saying was “Are you alright? I’m sorry.” I was a little woozy, but overall ok. I actually have a small bump on my head as I type this. The girl was a trooper. I imagine she is still feeling it. She stayed in the game, but at catcher. She was a little too traumatized to play first base anymore. And after it was realized that everyone was ok, our respective teammates gave us a hard time.
We ended up winning 12-9. A nice start to the season. So what was the highlight of the night you may ask? Was it the inside-the-park home run I hit on my first at bat? No. My dazzling defense in left field? Of course not (since I didn’t really do anything on defense). I would have to say it was the collision. Or at least the result of it. Because after everything got straightened out, an unnamed teammate came up to me and said “Dude! After you and the blonde girl collided, I could see her purple thong while she was slumped over!” Impressive, since she was wearing a purple shirt (she’s a “matcher”!). But what’s even better is having a quality teammate that looks out for you with important information like that.
-Dave Q.
