Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category
Eli Manning still blows.
I still don’t respect anyone that is so full of them self that they make trade demands before they even play a game in the NFL. I know a lot of people are happy to see the Patriots lose, but at the hands of Eli freakin’ Manning is just nauseating.
2008 is starting out pretty ugly. If Eli Manning can win the Super Bowl, then Hillary Clinton can be elected president. It may turn out to be a loooong year.
Oh well. At least spring training is around the corner. Anyone know when pitchers and catchers report?
-Dave Q.
Dear Reporters, Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81. I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game. Sincerely,T.O. p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready!. — Terrell Owens before the Cowboys / Patriots match up in Week 6.
When it comes to the NFL playoffs, I had a pretty damn good weekend! Every team I wanted to win this weekend came out victorious. And that includes the Giants beating the Cowboys. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t like the New York Giants, especially when led by that goofy Eli Manning. But I despise any team that employs Terrell Owens. So the Cowboys losing makes me happy. 
Cry me a river, T.O. You’re defending your teammates? You’re sticking up for your quarterback? Please. I’m pretty sure Donavan McNabb and Jeff Garcia did the same thing I did when they saw you weeping like a little pansy at that post-game press conference: laugh their ass off!
Just so you know, I’m clearly rooting for Green Bay to win the whole thing. I admire Brett Favre tremendously. But if he can’t win it, then I would be cool with the Pats or Bolts winning. And with that, I hope Eli Manning can fall back to reality and go back to the crappy QB he is. The Giants winning the Super Bowl would suck. But at least Dallas won’t.
So I think I’m going to have a Super Bowl party. I called my buddy Jay after the game to let him no about it, but he wouldn’t answer my call. I’m sure he thinks that because he is a die-hard Cowboys fan, he saw me calling and assumed I was going to rub the Dallas loss in his face. Not true. I’m not a prick. I know that he is going to be seeing that every time he turns on the TV for the next 3 days. And then be reminded of it as the playoffs continue. I’m not going to pour salt into that wound with so many others will be indirectly. That wouldn’t be right.
So I hope he calls me back. And comes over for Super Bowl. And enjoys some of the popcorn I’ll be serving.
-Dave Q.
Did you catch the rant from Roger Clemens? Denying the whole steroids saga? Man, he is pissed. I mean, really pissed. Like, he’s in a rage of some sort. A “roid rage”, perhaps?
Also, I just don’t know about the taped conversation between Clemens, and his personal trainer (and alleged steroid injector extraordinaire) Brian McNamee. It’s kind of confusing. At times they seem to be speaking in code. I think they both knew it was being recorded. So what they say on the recording didn’t seem genuine. But if I had to call it right now, I think Clemens is a liar. I just don’t buy that Clemens knew nothing about his boy, Andy Petitte, getting HGH from the personal trainer they share. I’m calling bullshit on that one.
Still, I don’t know if we will ever know the whole truth. In fact, I doubt we ever will. But who knows? As they say, “the truth is out there”. Anyone have the number for Mulder and Scully?
-Dave Q.
My buddy Jay and I made a bet when the Tennessee Titans drafted Vince Young. He said Vince Young would lead the Titans to the playoffs sometime within his first 3 years. I said he wouldn’t. Last night I lost the bet. Sort of.
The Titans beat the Colts Sunday night, and with that win, squeaked into the playoffs. Never mind that good old VY was on the sideline (with yet another injury) when his team went ahead. But it is notable that the backup QB, Kerry Collins, was the one getting interviewed right after the game. Camera time usually reserved for the player that made the biggest impact to victory. But, oh well. Vince “Wonderlic” Young is on the Titans. And the Titans are in the playoffs. So Jay wins the bet. The first bet he has won against me since we were Sophomore’s in high school 17 years ago. At a boy, Jay! Nice job, man.
Still, I have to express how much Vince Young sucks. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t bring up the sensational 2007 stats that he produced. I won’t mention that beautiful QB rating, since children under the age of 18 could be reading this. But I will say this: I don’t know anything that defines “leading one’s team into the playoffs” like throwing 9 TDs and 17 interceptions for the season. Wow. Friggin’ wow.
The worst thing about this situation is not that I will be giving Jay a bottle of his favorite liquor. I actually like that part. Crown Royal makes him happy, so I’m cool with that. No, the worst part about this is that I will have to keep seeing Vince Young try to throw a football. The Titans play the Chargers next week. And since I like the Chargers, I will be watching the game. And cringing when I see Vince Young firing those ever so tight spirals to his receivers.
The more I think about this, the more I think Jay will have to wait on his bottle of Crown. I’m going to need every drop of that shit to get through that game.
-Dave Q.
[myspacetv 17899754]
I’m done. My team is out of the playoffs. I lost to a friend of mine who loves the Dallas Cowboys so much, that I know more about what they are about than he does (remember the T.O. thing, Jay?). Now I will be watching football for the pure leisure of it. And I will only stress about a game I care about. Here’s hoping for a final four of the Packers, Bucs, Chargers, and Pats.
And here’s to not caring about a meaningless interception here, or a fumble there. Or whatever. To hell with this. Screw you guys. There’s always next season.
-Dave Q.
“The only difference between myself and Barry Bonds, is that I don’t think I’m Barry Bonds.” -God
America’s favorite cheater, Barry Bonds, got indicted today by a federal grand jury. He is being charged with 4 counts of perjury and 1 count of obstruction of justice. Apparently in the evidence, there is a positive steroid test, and something regarding syringes. And his former trainer got released from prison shortly after all this was announced. He was jailed for not willing to testify against Barry. Coincidence? I think not. Here’s a great Barry Bonds article for you.
Will justice be served? I highly doubt it. Even with all this “juicy” evidence, I predict that Barry Bonds will walk. This case will no doubt go to trial. And if there is a trial, then it will most likely be held in San Francisco, where a jury will be selected. Most citizens of San Francisco love Barry Bonds. They think he’s a good guy who never did steroids. Obviously, not a very smart group. Combine that with the fact they are largely liberal and already hate the government (remember, it’s a federal trial), then Barry will walk. Those people can catch Barry Bonds with a syringe stuck in a butt cheek, and still acquit him. If the powers that be want a fair trial, they will move it out of San Francisco. Maybe even out of California. I mean, Californians acquitted O.J. for God’s sake. And Michael Jackson. And Robert Blake. So if you’re famous and you want to commit a crime, you’d better do it in California. IQ level there isn’t very high.
So let’s assume Barry Bonds is found not guilty. At least he will always have this indictment. That, along with his “record breaking” home run ball being branded with an asterisk in Cooperstown, he will forever be identified with cheating and steroids. I can live with that. Now if only Major League Baseball would grow a pair and wipe all those records he broke off the books.
You know, somewhere out there, Hank Aaron is smiling.
-Dave Q.
My friend Mark usually reserves a gym to play pick-up basketball on Thursday nights. So last night my buddy Nick and I went to go shoot hoops with them. It’s usually the same people that play, but last night there were a couple of guys playing that I had never played with before. One of them was a guy named Niko. Ladies and gentlemen, Niko is a douche bag.
The reason I have enjoyed playing Thursday nights with Mark and the guys was that for the most part, everyone has been on the same level, with the exception of a couple of guys that have a little more talent. Well, Niko has some ability. The guy obviously played organized basketball for a while. And I guess playing with us, he realized he was the most talented on the court. So he let everyone know it. Not so much with his play, but with his mouth. The guy would not shut up.
So in the third game we played, I drew the defensive assignment against him. He kind of laughed when he saw me guarding him. And in a way, I didn’t blame him. I’m by no means good at basketball, but I enjoy the workout. But because of Niko’s big mouth, it just motivated be to defend him. He lit me up for 3 games straight. And when we were on offense, he would make comments when I had the ball or when I would post up against him. I wasn’t paying enough attention to him to note if this was his defensive strategy or if he was singling me out. But I took it as the latter. So with him mouthing off, it felt good to pop a 3 in his face. My only highlight of the night.
During what would be the last game of the night, we needed only one more basket to win. They were down by 6 points and Niko was shouting out a guarantee that they were going to win in the end. So when they were inbounding the ball, Niko had it and saw that I was guarding him. So he started getting all cute with the basketball, dribbling it around like he was participating in one of those AND1 tournaments. So I swiped at it and tipped it toward me. We both hit the deck trying to recover the ball, I get elbowed in the chops, both of us have our arms around the ball, and he yells “You are not taking this ball from me! You are not taking this ball from me! You are not taking this ball from me!!.” I just look at him and ask him “Are you serious?”
At that point I just wanted to win, so I let go of the ball. They inbound, he misses, and we score. That’s it. Nice guarantee, Niko. Anyway, I can’t recall in recent memory when I’ve played against such an immature jackass like Niko. Congratulations, Niko. You really showed me. If I had to guess, Niko is about 23 years old. But acted more like a 12 year old. In 3rd grade. You do the math. Besides showing everyone his lack of class, he schooled a 32 year old who has never played organized basketball in his life. I was wearing cross-trainers, for God’s sake.
Whiners Winners like Niko take all the fun out of playing pick-up basketball. For being such a bad-ass, it must have felt weird for him to be playing with a bunch of regular guys. I don’t know where in town all the true ballers play. But I have a feeling, Niko doesn’t know either.
-Dave Q.
This is truly amazing. I’ve never seen anything like this. The Trinity Tigers, needing a touchdown to win, do it by using 15 laterals! They end up beating the Millsaps Majors in a Div III showdown. Watch the video. This is freakin’ incredible.
Nice job, Trinity. You deserve lots of props. But you did have some luck. Luck combined with the most ridiculous defense known to man. Have these guys on Millsaps ever made a tackle before?? How can I describe this. Pathetic, Embarassing, Laughable, etc. No doubt their defensive coordinator is on suicide watch. He shoud go jump off a cliff. But he needs to take that entire defense with him. Yikes!
I bet you will watch the video more than once.
-Dave Q.
