Author Archive
I’ve been playing some tennis here and there over the last few months. It’s fun and you get a decent little workout. Well, if it was competitive tennis I’m sure it would be a great workout. But since I’m no where near that, it’s good to get the blood flowing. I think at times I even sweat a little. 
So yesterday when I went to pay my parents a visit, I brought my tennis gear. My parents used to play a lot back in the day. In fact, I remember as a young boy in Hawaii going with my Mom to her tennis lessons. Anyway, I asked them if they felt like going to the middle school by their house where they had some tennis courts. After some convincing, they agreed to go out and play.
So here I was thinking I would hit a few balls at them, get the heart rate going, etc. Little did I know they still knew how to hit. And that they knew how to hit trick shots, too. Caught me completely off guard. So I was hustling trying to keep up. Granted, it was 2 on 1, and I have a bad ankle, and… let me think of some other excuses, um… Oh it doesn’t matter, anyway. We didn’t keep score. Or at least I hope no one kept score.
-Dave Q.
Thanks to my friend Gabe for sending this one to me. You gotta love political cartoons. Especially when they hit both parties.
Not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to be Joe Biden. Clearly the least interesting person participating in the most interesting election. He ranks somewhere between Michelle Obama and Bristol Palin.
-Dave Q.
I heard about this girl back in June, and then nothing. I wonder if she is still on the run? A fugitive from justice?
If you were living under a rock at the time and don’t know about her, here is the 2 cent summary. This girl in Romania will be on the subway, will turn on her boombox, and pole dance. And at then end, naturally, she goes around asking for tips. No doubt the girl is just trying to pay her way through med school.
Last I heard were the cops there were on the lookout for her. And if they see her show they will probably tip her and then give her a ticket or something. But still, you have to give the girl props! And also thank the guy with the camera phone. God bless technology.
-Dave Q.
As of late, I’ve been feeling kind of sluggish at work. Especially after lunch. You know what I’m referring to. Those lunch induced comas? I know you’ve been there, too.
So while chatting it up in the office, my buddy Horbi said he was feeling like that too, but started feeling better after he started taking some vitamin B. He has a big bottle on his desk and told me whenever I wanted one, to just help myself. So I started taking them and I did feel better. Maybe it’s all mental. But I am definitely making it through the day easier.
So on Friday, sometime after lunch, I realized I hadn’t taken my daily vitamin B pill. I went into the office and saw Horbi at his desk with his earphones on. He loves his music. So I just walked up to his desk to grab the bottle. Horbi kind of jumped up when I got the bottle. I guess I snuck up on him. I told him I was getting some vitamin B and we started chatting. Then I glanced at his computer screen…
“Um, Horbi?”, I said.
“Yeah?”
“Are you watching ‘Ugly Betty’??”
“Uh…………….”
So for the rest of the day I was giving him a pretty hard time about that. Not that dudes aren’t allowed to watch ‘Ugly Betty’. It’s that dudes shouldn’t watch ‘Ugly Betty’! Apparently he watches ‘Grey’s Anatomy’, too. To each their own.
But God bless the internet. With the ability to watch pretty much anything online, it’s hard to blame Horbi for watching shows that cater to a female audience. Wait. Yes it is. I do blame him. What the hell, man?!?
-Dave Q.
I got this sent to me in 4 different emails yesterday. So, I thought it was worth sharing. Appears to be a young Dr. Evil plotting to add two more to his future mind-control sex-slave experiment. Gotta give the kid props for thinking big, right?
-Dave Q.
While in Dallas this weekend, I got to catch the Cowboys-Redskins game. I know that this is the last year for the Cowgirls Cowboys at Texas Stadium. All I can say is, it’s about time. That place is a dump. Compared to Reliant stadium in Houston, Texas Stadium is ridiculously outdated. So maybe a future Dallas home game will be more impressive.
I know that Jerry Jones and the media love to tout the Cowboys as America’s team. While most of America would dispute that, I do know of one country that is all theirs. That would be our neighbor in the south, Mexico. I saw a ton of Spanish signs like “Viva los Cowboys”, and “Cowboys Numero Uno!”. Now just because a hispanic person is wearing a Cowboys jersey doesn’t mean they are Mexican, but I’m going to base this theory on geography. I wish I had taken a pic of the guy wearing a Cowboys jersey that said, “Vaqueros”.
Anyway, it’s no secret that I’m no Cowboys fan. I just can’t force myself to root for a team with such great role models like Terrell Owens, Pac-Man Jones, Tank Johnson, etc. So when the group I was with (all Cowboys fans) decided to put a pot together for guessing the final score, I was the only one that picked the Redskins. So not only did I enjoy seeing the Cowboys lose, I got $50 out of it. You know what I call that? A good weekend.
By the way, my final score prediction was Redskins 27, Cowboys 24. I was off by one point.
-Dave Q.
Talk about freaky. This is pretty much what it would look like if that whole chicken you bought from the supermarket decided to come out of your freezer and scare the living $%@! out of you.
The story I heard was that the bird has some kind of condition where it plucks it’s own feathers out. Kind of like an obsessive compulsive disorder. Weird. Nevertheless, this thing needs to be caged up and only taken out during Halloween. That is, if you need a dead parrot to go with your dead pirate costume.
-Dave Q.
I am being hunted.
For the last 3 nights, I have been terrorized. Every morning when I get, I am finding a new mosquito bite. I know it’s a flippin’ mosquito because I’ve seen it buzzing around. But when I try to kill it, I lose sight of it. She’s a smart one, she is.
I Googled the lifespan of a mosquito. This thing apparently can live up to 100 days. All it needs is a stable foodsource, and well, that’s me. I’ve tried to go Elmer Fudd on it, but no luck. It’s hiding well. I feel like it’s studying my every move. And it definitely know the layout of the house by now. I have to face facts: I need to outsmart it. Damn.
I called my Mom and she told me to put out a dish with water and dishsoap. I’m not sure what this is going to do. Do they drink it and die? Bathe? I don’t know.
Anyway, I just need my roommate to come back from his out of town trip. Once he’s back, hopefully the mosquito will turn on him. And I have no doubt that he won’t rest until he kills it. I, on the other hand, am ready to hit the sack. So, hopefully the mosquito doesn’t feel like snacking tonight.
but if you’re keepiing score, Mosquito 4, Dave Q. 0. But if I kill it tonight, it will be worth 5 points.
-Dave Q.
