Did you catch the rant from Roger Clemens? Denying the whole steroids saga? Man, he is pissed. I mean, really pissed. Like, he’s in a rage of some sort. A “roid rage”, perhaps?
Also, I just don’t know about the taped conversation between Clemens, and his personal trainer (and alleged steroid injector extraordinaire) Brian McNamee. It’s kind of confusing. At times they seem to be speaking in code. I think they both knew it was being recorded. So what they say on the recording didn’t seem genuine. But if I had to call it right now, I think Clemens is a liar. I just don’t buy that Clemens knew nothing about his boy, Andy Petitte, getting HGH from the personal trainer they share. I’m calling bullshit on that one.
Still, I don’t know if we will ever know the whole truth. In fact, I doubt we ever will. But who knows? As they say, “the truth is out there”. Anyone have the number for Mulder and Scully?
-Dave Q.
Penelope Cruz and her sister Monica came out in a music video for their brother, Eduardo. In the video, the sisters share a lesbian kiss. And apparently this was their brother’s idea.
I can only shake my head here. It’s pretty obvious that this guy Eduardo needs all the help he can get to promote his crappy music. And nothing says “I know I have no musical talent” than getting your famous sister to make out with your hotter sister in your music video. But the fact that he thought this up may be a sampling of deeper issues. Eduardo, those are your sisters! You really want to see your sisters make out? And dance around you half-naked?? They are your sisters!! What the hell is wrong with you?
So in the end, the only ones that benefit from Eduardo Cruz’s crappy music ability and his drive for incest, is any guy not related to the Cruz sisters. Monica Cruz should definitely look into getting into showbiz. Very nice to look at. More so than her sister.
As for you, Eduardo, I hope someone finds you a good therapist. Jeez.
-Dave Q.
Well, the new year didn’t start out that great for one Hillary Clinton. And I’m perfectly ok with that since I think she’s the anti-christ. Not only did she not win in Iowa, she didn’t even come in 2nd place. Try 3rd place. And what about Bill’s face during the speech she gave after the results came in? He looked catatonic out there. Either that or he was zeroing in on the red-head in the 3rd row. Good ol’ Bill. 
Still, she’s got balls. And as scary as it is, I know she will still be a legit candidate for the presidency. But it’s funny to know that at this very moment, she isn’t sleeping well. And that makes me smile.
I myself have not really picked a candidate to support. I’m still trying to read through all the issues to see what each candidate stands for. So as of now, I’m riding the “Anyone but Hillary” train.
-Dave Q.
Here’s some new year cheer from FunnyOrDie.com…
By the way, if you haven’t checked out their site, you should. It’s somewhat funny.
-Dave Q.
So I’ve been thinking. What will be my New Year’s resolution? Well, I usually pick a few. That way when one falls through, I have another to fall back on. Always thinking ahead…
Naturally, I want to get in better shape. I wouldn’t say I’m hideous, but I think I could drop a pound or two. But that wouldn’t be the ultimate goal. That would simply be a bonus. In getting in shape, I mean I want to be able to do more athletically and physically. I want to run farther. Go biking longer. Play ball better. So my first resolution of the new year is to be more active. Eating better could go along with that. My diet sucks balls.
Next, I want to buy a gun. I’m a red-blooded American, and have been thinking of buying a gun for years. It just has never been a priority. But I’m picking this as the year to do it. And of course, if I’m going to buy a gun, I will have to learn how to use it. So going to the gun range will also be on the agenda. I’m still not too sure which gun to buy, however. A 9mm wouldn’t be bad. But a shotgun would definitely get the point across. In case you’re wondering, it would be for the sole purpose of protection. As in if I hear someone trying to break in my front door, a verbal warning and the sound of a shotgun being loaded should be enough to discourage any would be burglars.
What else? Ahhh yes. I want to learn how to cook. And BBQ. I have done both in the past, but not to a point that I can be proud of. So maybe I will look into some cooking classes. And a new BBQ grill. An ex roommate of mine really jacked up my last one. So that needs to be replaced.
This is starting to look more like a Christmas wish list instead of New Year’s Resolutions. So to sum up, I want a gun, a BBQ grill, and an HD camcorder. See how I snuck that last one in there?
Last but not least, spend more time with family loved ones. And take the dogs to the park more. And not complain about Brian complaining when I kill him at Call of Duty 4.
This resolutions crap is hard work.
-Dave Q.
Wow. 2007 just flew by. Was it as good for you as it was for me? I need a cigarette.
Happy New Year everyone!
-Dave Q.
My buddy Jay and I made a bet when the Tennessee Titans drafted Vince Young. He said Vince Young would lead the Titans to the playoffs sometime within his first 3 years. I said he wouldn’t. Last night I lost the bet. Sort of.
The Titans beat the Colts Sunday night, and with that win, squeaked into the playoffs. Never mind that good old VY was on the sideline (with yet another injury) when his team went ahead. But it is notable that the backup QB, Kerry Collins, was the one getting interviewed right after the game. Camera time usually reserved for the player that made the biggest impact to victory. But, oh well. Vince “Wonderlic” Young is on the Titans. And the Titans are in the playoffs. So Jay wins the bet. The first bet he has won against me since we were Sophomore’s in high school 17 years ago. At a boy, Jay! Nice job, man.
Still, I have to express how much Vince Young sucks. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t bring up the sensational 2007 stats that he produced. I won’t mention that beautiful QB rating, since children under the age of 18 could be reading this. But I will say this: I don’t know anything that defines “leading one’s team into the playoffs” like throwing 9 TDs and 17 interceptions for the season. Wow. Friggin’ wow.
The worst thing about this situation is not that I will be giving Jay a bottle of his favorite liquor. I actually like that part. Crown Royal makes him happy, so I’m cool with that. No, the worst part about this is that I will have to keep seeing Vince Young try to throw a football. The Titans play the Chargers next week. And since I like the Chargers, I will be watching the game. And cringing when I see Vince Young firing those ever so tight spirals to his receivers.
The more I think about this, the more I think Jay will have to wait on his bottle of Crown. I’m going to need every drop of that shit to get through that game.
-Dave Q.
Picture this if you will: A guy is walking in a city park. He comes across a girl, presumably attractive, who is sunbathing. Topless. A topless female sunbather in a city park. Just wanted to get that point across. Anyway, They strike up a conversation. Things get flirty, and the girl asks to see the guy’s package. The guy obliges the topless girl, and then cops swarm in and arrest him. If this isn’t a setup I don’t know what is. And apparently this really happened, and there’s video of it too. But nothing to get too excited about, like this guy did.
If you read the article, it says that the guy was walking through the city park and found the girl sunbathing topless under a tree. That should have been his first clue that something wasn’t right. Sunbathing under a tree? Who does that? Look at the picture. Looks like she’s in the shade to me.
I’m trying to figure out what the hell the Columbus Police Dept. thought was going to happen? I can understand to a certain degree that they are trying to keep perverts out of the park, but come on. You basically set the stage for some poor schmuck to star in his own porn scene and not expect him to follow through? Are the police officers there so inept that this is the only way they can make arrests? That’s pretty jacked up.
I really feel bad for this guy. Pervert or not, this is entrapment. I hope the judge goes easy on him. And I hope the girl was worth it.
And I am documenting the fact that it is legal for women in Columbus, OH to sunbathe topless. Duly noted.
-Dave Q.
