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I’m done. My team is out of the playoffs. I lost to a friend of mine who loves the Dallas Cowboys so much, that I know more about what they are about than he does (remember the T.O. thing, Jay?). Now I will be watching football for the pure leisure of it. And I will only stress about a game I care about. Here’s hoping for a final four of the Packers, Bucs, Chargers, and Pats.
And here’s to not caring about a meaningless interception here, or a fumble there. Or whatever. To hell with this. Screw you guys. There’s always next season.
-Dave Q.
(My Dad sent this one to me…)
To My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
-Dave Q.
These are the top 10 quotes of 2007, according to some big wig at Yale.
1. “Don’t tase me, Bro!” — University of Florida student Andrew Meyer on September 17, as he tried to stop campus police from throwing him out of a speech by Sen. John Kerry.
2. “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.” — Lauren Upton, the South Carolina contestant in the Miss Teen America contest in August.
3. “In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country.” — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s October comment at Columbia University in New York.
4. “That’s some nappy-headed hos there.” — Shock jock Don Imus comments about the Rutgers University women’s basketball team.
5. “I don’t recall.” — Former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’ repeated response to questioning at a congressional hearing about the firing of U.S. attorneys.
6. “There’s only three things he (Republican presidential candidate and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11.” — Sen. Joseph Biden, speaking at a Democratic presidential debate.
7. “I’m not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody (Vice President Dick Cheney) who has a 9 percent approval rating.” — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Democrat.
8. “(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom.” — Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig’s explanation of why his foot touched that of an undercover policeman in a men’s room.
9. “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” — Biden describing rival Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.
10. “I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history.” – Former President Jimmy Carter in an interview in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette newspaper.
I’m hoping someone comes out with a classic quote within the next 10 days. That would totally screw up Professor Ivy League’s list. I wonder if he’s sweating out the rest of December. Almost like you do when your team is up by 1 with little time left, and the other team has possession. Go, clock! Go!
-Dave Q.
I finally got to see the new Will Smith flick, I Am Legend. It wasn’t bad. Definitely the only movie I can think of worth seeing this holiday season. Everything else out there is pretty much crap. That was obvious as the movie set box office records for the month of December. Now, I’m not dogging the movie. But I was just expecting a slightly different outcome. And a little less CGI. But overall, it was a generally good movie. But the best part happened before the movie even started.
The last movie trailer shown was for the next Batman film, The Dark Knight. It looks pretty damn good. You need to see this preview. For those of us that remember the Michael Keaton/Val Kilmer/George Clooney batman flicks, those should be deleted from memory. Like they never happened. Because when Christian Bale took the lead role in Batman Begins, everything changed. Batman became… cool. Or at least much cooler that those crappy movies made him. Which wasn’t cool. Know what I’m saying?
Anyway, already looking forward to that one. Comes out next summer.
-Dave Q.
Not cool, Jessica.Jessica Alba is pregnant. She and some guy named Cash Warren (I guess that’s his real name) are expecting a baby next spring. First Salma Hayek, now this. This sucks.
So here are a couple of things to remember Miss Alba by. Since these days are pretty much over. Dear Lord, I hope I’m wrong. It’s happened before.
I thought about putting up a pic of this Cash Warren guy, but I don’t think it would be right to actually put up a visual of the most hated man in the world. He is no doubt already getting death threats. Perhaps a call to the witness protection program is in order?
I hate you, Cash Warren. Go to hell.
-Dave Q.
My buddy Hadji sent this to me a few minutes ago. I don’t know what to make of it. But I did laugh my ass off. So maybe you will too.
-Dave Q.
The Holidays. They mean different things to different people. In my opinion, it should be a time for family. And of course, God. I know there are those out there that don’t believe in the Man upstairs, but I choose to. So go to hell.
But the Holidays aren’t only about the good wholesome stuff like one’s loved ones and one’s faith. It’s also about something more depressing. Like shopping. But for now I’m not going to focus on the misery the Holidays bring. Let me focus on the good.
My sister, niece, and nephew flew in from Hawaii in time for Thanksgiving. My sister already went back to the islands, but the kids are still here, and will be until early January. My aunt and cousin flew in from Costa Rica for the holidays. They are all staying with my folks. Plenty of room in that big house of theirs. And believe me when I tell you, my parents love this stuff. They adore those kids and having them around makes them happy. It’s rare that so much family is around for the Holidays. So I’m taking it all in as well. 
Now, back to my misery. I love giving gifts. I love giving the right gifts. What I loathe is the process. I hate shopping. Absolutey hate it. I don’t like malls. I don’t like fighting for parking spaces. I just hate shopping. So you may be able to see how this time of year would add stress to my normally stress free existence. Online shopping comes in handy right about now.
So I am doing my best to enjoy the Holidays. But still, if you feel like making a few bucks and doing my shopping for me, I have a shopping list I can give you.
-Dave Q.
Michael Vick is going to jail for nearly 2 years after a judge sentenced him for his role in the dog fighting / gambling debacle that is known as “Bad News Kennelz”. He got off a little easy I think, but overall, I think justice prevails.
You know what sucks about this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Let Vick sit behind bars for a while. Let him lose millions of dollars. Let this whole episode scare the crap out of anyone else involved in this garbage. It’s hard to figure out what kind of person gets a rise out of seeing two dogs beat the crap out of each other. Or chickens for that matter (cock fights, folks). Dogs and chickens fighting to the death? Society needs to put these animals in their proper places. Dog is man’s best friend. And chicken is an alternative to eating beef. Not too difficult, people.
Come to think of it, one thing does suck. The fact that I’m on the same side as PETA on this one. But contrary to what they believe in, I won’t go fire bombing any science labs that are trying to find the cure for cancer because they are testing a vaccine on a lab rat. PETA %$#@! nut jobs.
-Dave Q.
