I just heard that the Miss USA pageant was this past Sunday. That’s cool. I had no interest in it. That is, until I saw all this! Yowza!
Apparently someone had the truly awesome idea to make the 50+ participants of Miss USA sexy with this photo shoot. The theme here is “Waking up in Vegas”. Always a good place to wake up at. I don’t recall a beauty pageant ever achieving this level of sexy… ever! And wait until you see the pics! Especially Miss Virginia and Miss Wisconsin. Damn! I know a few people who will be getting new desktop wallpaper because of this. Anyway, the sad thing is of course that women all over the world are going to start pulling the sexism card… again. Also sad, they probably weren’t actually be dressed like this for the actual pageant. Oh well.
Despite all that, I applaud you, whoever it is that runs Miss USA (Trump?). Your move, Miss Universe.
-Dave Q.
I’m just going to come right out and say it. The Swedes love me! Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
The video takes a few seconds to load, so be patient. Trust me when I say it’s worth it. Oh, so worth it…
-Dave Q.
So I went to a happy hour last night. Which then turned into happy hours. Having a good time, shooting pool, downing a few drinks, enjoying the company of friends, etc. Everything you need to result in a good time! Of course as you have a drink or two… or several more, the urge to relieve yourself hit you. So after losing what was probably my 4th straight game of pool, to a girl, I decide it’s time to pay a visit to the men’s room. As soon as I walk in there, I look over and think to myself, “dammit”.
I’m not a fan of bathroom attendants. When I go to the restroom, I just want to take care of what I need to take care of and that’s that. I don’t need anyone there to turn on the faucet for me and squirt soap in my hands. And of course they do this and expect a tip for it. Jeez. Half the time I’m not even carrying cash. When it comes to tipping a waitress or bar tender, I put it on my credit card. I don’t want to have to ever plan for bathroom attendant tips. I think I will boycott any bars that have bathroom attendants from here on out. Am I the only one that is annoyed by these guys? Do they have a female version in the ladies room??
This got me thinking about other annoying professions. So I ranked my top 5:
- Bathroom Attendants (still pretty freshly annoyed from last night)
- TSA Employees (seems like they all have a chip on their shoulder)
- Car Salesman (just back off and let me look at the car, will ya?)
- Telemarketers (no need to explain)
- Tech support that can’t speak English (these guys make me want to punch something)
I intentionally left out politicians since that is an obvious one and by default nobody likes those imbeciles. Did I miss any?
-Dave Q.
Here’s a new twist on those boring flight safety videos. Yeah, it will get your attention, but not for too long. Once you realize that the females in body paint aren’t exactly “body paint” worthy, (not to mention that no one wants to see dudes with no clothes on), then you would probably go back to reading your book, or sleeping, or praying, or whatever pre-flight ritual you’ve claimed as your own. Mine is the praying one.
Now if they had this Delta chick in body paint, that’s a different story. Hell, I might take a flight just to watch the video. I love the way she wags her finger at you. Like she’s scolding you for having naughty thoughts. Don’t judge me. I know I wasn’t the only one.
-Dave Q.
I snapped this pic over the weekend. Nice car. But that Dominos sign on the roof of it can’t help when it comes to the ladies.
I get that some people are consumed with status symbols. But to be forced to deliver pizzas because of it? Come on, man. Sell the car. Drive something a little more modest. And then you won’t have to take that part-time job just to pay your car note. You also won’t have people taking pics of your fancy car delivering pizzas. What’s so hard about living within your means?
I didn’t take into account that it could be some spoiled rich kid who got the BMW for their birthday and their parents forced them to get a job. In which case I applaud the parents. But let’s face it, chances are if you’re buying your kid a BMW, then they don’t need a job to get some cash. They have mommy and daddy for that.
I almost feel compelled to get Dominos delivered when I watch the Spurs-Mavericks game tonight in the hope that I get this guy as the delivery driver. If I see a bimmer parked in the street when I open the front door, not only will I give him his $3 tip, but I’m also gonna give him a pat on the shoulder. And maybe an “I’m sorry”.
GO SPURS GO!!!
-Dave Q.
So yesterday as I was watching The Masters, I had to chuckle as I witnessed Tiger’s meltdown. Usually, I don’t really care that much about golf. Especially not enough to waste precious television time on it. But I tuned in for the sole purpose of rooting against Tiger. Did I root against him because of all the cheating he did on his wife? No. Anybody with that much fame and money would do the same. So if that’s not the reason why I was rooting against Tiger, then what was? This video answers that question:
The voice you hear is that of Earl Woods, Tiger’s father. He died in 2006. In the video, he is pretty much scolding Tiger. Asking him if he learned anything. Seriously? You had to bring in your dead father to try to make yourself look good?? And Tiger with his pouty face. Are we supposed to feel sorry for this guy? Whatever, Tiger. You officially suck. And Nike can go to hell to for this crap. Using a deceased man to try and save the golden boy. Nice try. I hope it doesn’t work.
Does anyone think there really is such a thing as sex addiction? If so, I’m a sex addict. I love sex, so I must be addicted to it, right? I’m waiting for the day that one of these celebrity schmucks stands up and takes his lumps like a man instead of always blaming something else and going to rehab. I’ll be waiting for a long time…
-Dave Q.
There are only 9 days left until Easter. Which means in 9 days I am going to have a cheeseburger. And a steak. At the same time.
Actually, I can’t say that Lent has been too bad this year. I gave up red meat, but I haven’t missed it as much as I thought I would. Plus, it’s not necessarily a bad thing for your health to lay off of red meat every now and then. So, I’m calling this a win-win. Also contributing to this “win” is that I ate plenty of sushi over the last few weeks, which makes me happy. I wonder what my mercury levels are now. Hmmm.
Like it wasn’t easy for Kermit the Frog to be green, it’s not easy being Catholic. And when you’re not the best Catholic around, you try and make up for your shortcomings during Lent. So seeing as how I didn’t sacrifice too much this year, I must have been good in 2009, right?? Nah. I just didn’t plan properly and couldn’t come up with a good sacrifice. But something is better than nothing… I hope.
-Dave Q.
My mind is saying “yes”, but my body is saying “no”.
Let me start by saying I had an awesome time skiing! I should have done it a loooong time ago. I did a lot better than I thought, even with all the countless falls and humiliation from 8 year-olds skiing up to me and asking if I was ok. Damn kids. I will definitely go again the next time the opportunity presents itself. It was fun and and made even better by the group of people on the trip. Good times, good times…
That being said, my hip is effin’ killing me! I don’t know what exactly I did to it, but it definitely happened on the slopes. I was sore from a lot of places during the trip, but as aches and pains have subsided from muscles used that probably never had been, one pain lingers: my right hip. It feels like something wants to pop every time I stand up from sitting down. It’s not excruciating, but it’s a steady pain that Advil isn’t having much of an effect on. So what would be the smart thing to do? Probably rest it, right? Nah. What did smart guy do tonight? I played volleyball like a dumb-ass. WTF was I thinking???
All that jumping from volleyball made the pain much worse. How stupid was that? Not the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s up there. Easily in my top 20. Anyway, I will be popping some more pain killers before bed and rubbing some Icy Hot in that area. Why Icy Hot you ask? Because at this point, I’ll try anything. I’m thinking that if I don’t show some improvement by Thursday, then maybe I’ll need to pay a visit to the doc. And I avoid going to the doc as much as possible, so you know I’m not messing around.
Obviously, I’m not growing old gracefully. Sadly, my ego is writing checks my body can’t cash. I wonder how I would be feeling if this happened 10 years ago. How fast would I bounce back? Would I even miss a beat? I’ll never know. What I do know is that it hurts to put pants on. Which makes me think that I should go pants-less this week. Pants are overrated anyway… 
-Dave Q.
