Archive for the ‘Awesome!’ Category
There are times in life when you can do the right thing for your country. When the cries of those regular people getting screwed by the government on a daily basis can’t be tuned out anymore, you must act. And considering the two candidates we have to choose from, somebody has to step up to the plate. Because, quite frankly, they both suck.
I have been waiting for a third option. Hoping for another choice. And so far, zip. Well, my fellow Americans, someone has to step up to the plate. And I am that someone. Today, I am announcing my candidacy for President of the World United States. I mean, I don’t think I can do any worse than McCain and Obama.
Ever since the Primaries were settled, I have been telling people that I probably wouldn’t vote, since I have no confidence in either candidate. But I myself have always been pretty self-confident. So there you go. A candidate I can be confident about!
Since I am so confident I will win, I went ahead and offered my VP slot to Brian. He said no. Then I bought him a Dr. Pepper. VP position filled.
-Dave Q.
I have to thank my buddy Norm for this one…
This Snickers ad featuring Mr. T. was recently pulled because some morons consider it ‘homophobic’. Please. Are you telling me that only gay people do speed walking? Give me a break.
Homophobic? Nope. Funny? Hell yes!
The ad was being aired in the U.K., but apparently someone in the USA got Snickers to stop airing it. Way to make real Americans proud, ass-clown.
-Dave Q.
Today is Sysadmin Day. A day for everyone from all aspects of IT to get some props for a job well done. So far today I have gotten one ‘thank you’. I guess most of the population is still in the dark regarding this glorious worldwide holiday. Not a problem. I’m not going to hold a grudge. However, I can tell you the problems the people in my building will suddenly have when trying to login after lunch is in no way related. 
Anyway, to all my IT brothers and sisters out there, I wish you all a Happy Sysadmin Day. And by all means, spread the word. Maybe in the future we can come in to work on this day and be showered with gifts, desserts, and all kinds of crazy love. If not, then we will just disable their user logins.
Time for lunch…
-Dave Q.
Those that know me know I am very critical about movies in general. Bad plots, poor writing, lousy directing, and horrid acting drive me up the %$#& wall! So when I tell you to go and watch The Dark Knight, you will thank me later. Unlike every imbecile that told me to go see Transformers, you can have faith in what I’m telling you. Seriously, there is very little I would change about this movie. Let’s see, how can I describe this movie? It is sexual arousing. There. I said it.
The casting was almost perfect. Every actor that came back from Batman Begins (Bale, Caine, Freeman, Oldman) did great jobs. Heath Ledger (R.I.P) was friggin’ fantastic as The Joker! I mean, I had my doubts when I heard that one of the gay cowboys from Brokeback Mountain was going to play The Joker, but he couldn’t have done a better job. The Joker was sadistic and creepy as hell. And that is what he was always supposed to be. Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent was brilliant as well. Great makeup and special effects to bring his character along in the second half of the film.
‘The Dark Knight’ is one of the best movies I have seen in years. Period.
-David Quesada, “The Quesada Chronicles”.
But just like any movie, something could have been done different to produce an even better product. Maggie Gyllenhaal. Why is she in the film? I know she played an important character, but… Maggie Gyllenhaal??? For those that don’t remember, the character of “Rachel Dawes” was played by a smoking hot, pre-crazy Katie Holmes in Batman Begins. So they replace her hotness with… Maggie Gyllenhaal? So they replaced this with this?? A girl that wouldn’t get a second look… anywhere?!?!? The scenes where they tried to make Gyllenhaal attractive were a wast of time. And believe me they tried. I can think of several suitable replacements for Katie Holmes that would have been acceptable in place of Gyllenhaal. I would have taken a full on insane Katie Holmes over Gyllenhaal! Anyway, that was the only real thing wrong with the movie. So I guess I shouldn’t complain too much.But honestly, Christian Bale and Aaron Eckhart vying for the affections of Maggie Gyllenhaal? Out of that entire movie, that was the thing I had the hardest time believing.
Scariest part of the whole thing, you may ask? That’s easy. Just before the previews, there was a promo for the chick-flick musical Mama-Mia sponsored by Ponds makeup remover, or something to that effect. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the last thing I want to see is Meryl Streep with no makeup! So, needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well last night.
-Dave Q.
I remember back in the day the Miss Universe pageant was a big deal. These days I just watch so little TV that I had no idea it came on last night. However, I did hear about the Miss Hooters pageant that took place last week. Missed that one, too. But the girl that won works at a San Antonio Hooters. Hmmm… Maybe I should give their wings another chance.
Anyway, I heard this morning that Miss USA stumbled again. And that Miss Venezuela won. I don’t really care about either of those. What I do care about is getting up to speed with some of the swimsuit competition highlights. God bless YouTube.
So because I care, I present to you…
Miss Mexico
Miss Korea
Miss Brazil
and Miss Australia
In one of these videos there is a girl walking in the background in a one piece. WTF? She’s in a beauty pageant and wearing a one piece? Why did she even bother showing up? That is the same as forfeiting. Maybe she saw the rest of the competition and gave up?
-Dave Q.
First, my apologies to my loyal readers (Max and Murphy) for not blogging in a while. I’ve been traveling. And it’s hard to focus on the blog when you’re stuck in airports. Moving on…
Feliz Cumpleanos! Welcome to the 3-0 Club! And go to hell if I didn’t spell that in Spanish correctly.
This past weekend we celebrated my good friend Horbi’s birthday. It was good to see him and some other friends I hadn’t seen in a while. He was quick to point out that after knowing him for a few years that this was the first birthday get together of his that I attend. Come on, man. Not my fault your birthday is July 1st. And that you have a habit of planning these things when I’m out of town traveling. Oh, wait. Was that by design? I see… How do you say ‘bastard’ in Spanish?
Anyway, I bought these nice cigars for the occasion. Definitely ‘birthday’ worthy. I’m not sure if they were Puerto Rican, but they were definitely rum flavored. So I figured he would appreciate that. I mean, what else is Puerto Rico about besides rum? Anyone? Mr. Bacardi?…
-Dave Q.
In case you don’t know, the young lady pictured below is Allison Stokke. She’s not ugly.
I know last summer this girl became an internet sensation because of the above picture. But for whatever reason, I missed it. So I feel the need here to just throw my admiration into the fray. As seen here, the pole vaulter from California is calmly adjusting her hair before her turn in a competition. I understand she is still vaulting poles at one of the fine California universities.
Anyway, the reason I brought her up is that this is an Olympic year. And although she looks good, I don’t know if she’s any good at pole vaulting. For all I know, she may be terrible. But what if she turns out to be great? Can you imagine how famous she will become? How popular the track & field events will be the summer she becomes an Olympian? How NBC’s Olympic coverage ratings will go through the roof? It will be like the whole beach volleyball thing all over again. That, my friends, will make the Olympics interesting. To be honest, women’s beach volleyball is the only reason I would tune in to the Olympics.
Anyway, I know that the possibility of Allison Stokke representing the Unites States is a few years away. But it’s still fun to think about. Makes me even happier that we live in the era of HD T.V.
-Dave Q.
For a while now, I’ve been wanting to buy a Nintendo Wii. Well my friends, I now want one more than ever. Apparently besides helping you get your girl to play around in her underwear, the Wii Fit can help you get into shape, too. 
For the record, she’s doesn’t look like she needs to work out. But that’s a hard show to turn down.
-Dave Q.
