Archive for the ‘Not Cool’ Category

Now here is a cause I can get behind.  :)

October is here.  And that means it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month. And it’s times like these that I feel I should speak out.  You see everyone, few causes are as important as this one.  You want to Save the whales?  That’s great.  But let’s save the boobs first, got it?  Priorities, people!

You want to hug a tree?  That’s cool.  Me?  I’d rather hug boobs.  And I think I speak for every man and woman out there that boobs take priority over trees.  So, to hell with the trees.  Save the boobs!  This cannot be ignored!!  If that means other causes have to be put on the back burner, so be it!  Priorities, people.

What about PETA?  Hmmm…  no.  Save the boobs, damn it!  I hope I am getting through to everyone.  This is absolutely of the utmost importance!!  Don’t ignore this plea.  To illustrate how motivated I am about this, I will offer free breast exams as long as there is something in writing that I can’t be held accountable for anything.  I am just trying to help here.

A world without boobs is a world I don’t want to be in.  

-Dave Q.

So I am up right now thinking about my dog, Max.  I had to leave him at the vet tonight.  He has something potentially serious happening with him and if he doesn’t improve by tomorrow, then he’s facing surgery.  And that’s not good.

So you might be wondering what is wrong with him?  Well, I noticed that he was acting funny Sunday night.  He was very lethargic and didn’t want to eat.  I thought it was odd, because Max is an eating machine, but I left it alone.  But last night was the same thing.  And I took him to an emergency pet clinic.  They took some x-rays and ran some tests, but nothing was conclusive.  All this wrapped up at 2am.

This morning he seemed to be doing better, but I called his regular vet anyway and gave him a head’s up on what was going on.  He asked if Max had vomited, which he had, and if he did anymore to bring him in.  When I got in from work today, I saw that he wasn’t holding anything down.  So off to the vet we went.

More x-rays.  More tests.  And the doc sees that he is constipated.  Which wouldn’t be a big deal except he couldn’t explain why.  Not to get too graphic or anything, but the doc decides to give Max an enema to try to get his bowels going.  Well, it kind of worked.  It worked well enough to see what he had inside him.  The doc removed cloth.  To be more exact, cloth from a towel.  And then of course it all starts to come together.  I found a ripped up towel in the backyard Saturday night.  The towel I use to dry them after I give them a bath.  I didn’t realize he ate any of it.  And it’s my fault because I left the towel within his reach.  Way to go, Dave.

I got Max as a puppy.  And back in the day he had a tendency to run off with my girlfriend’s panties and eat them.  No joke.  And I thought he had grown out of it.  He is 10 years old now and  I just haven’t worried about anything like this for a long time.  But I blame myself for dropping the ball.

So, here I am.  Unable to sleep.  Wide awake thinking about my buddy, Max.  We’ll see what the doc says tomorrow.  I’ll keep my fingers crossed for good news.  I know he is just a dog.  But if you feel like saying a little prayer, or just want to send some good vibes his way, please feel free.

-Dave Q.

By the way, Max was the only good thing to come out of a relationship with an ex girlfriend.  Well, that and a John Smoltz autographed baseball.  He’s my boy.  And I want him to be ok.

I guess September 21st in Afghanistan is recognized as “Peace Day”.  That’s cool.  Peace is a good thing.  But I think this may be a bad omen…

Eh.  Maybe the dove was just sleeping.

-Dave Q.

When I was a kid, I always thought about how cool it would be to have a bunch of big time action heroes be in one movie.  I distinctly remember thinking that a remake of The Dirty Dozen would have been awesome with the likes of Arnold, Sly, Chuck Norris, Mr. T, etc.  You get the point.  Well, I came across some info on a movie coming out next year.  Why have I not heard of this?!?  Or have I not heard about it because my primary source for world news isn’t Entertainment Tonight? If so, my bad.

Anyway, this movie comes out in 2010.  It’s called “The Expendables”, and check out this plot:  A team of mercenaries head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator.  Did your eyes light up?  Now check out the cast…

  • Sylvester Stallone
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Mickey Rourke
  • Jet Li
  • Bruce Willis
  • Jason Statham
  • Eric Roberts
  • “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

Holy freakin’ crap!!  How awesome will this be???  I mean, as long as you go into the movie theater with the intention to be entertained and not take it seriously, then I don’t see how it could disappoint.  Explosions!  Shooting!  Crazy fight scenes!  I love this quote from COED Magazine about the movie.

Sure this movie probably won’t win an Oscar, but the body count will be ridiculously high and your balls might explode from a surge of testosterone.

Anyway, I now have a movie to look forward to for next year.  Because this year has been pretty brutal.  Transformers and G.I. Joe?  What the hell were those about?  That was a kick to the gonads of my childhood.  I’m glad I didn’t see them.  Well, I mean, I did take my niece and nephew to Transformers.  But I couldn’t watch.  It was that bad.  Not even Megan Fox’s hotness could save that piece of crap.  Just being honest here…

-Dave Q.

There is just something about Mexican soccer star Rafa Marquez I don’t like. He’s got this smug look about him. I have no doubt that he would romance the pants off of his best friend’s wife if left alone with her for 15 minutes. He looks like that one guy in the Diane Lane movie, Unfaithful. Kind of Euro-trashy.

Now in all honesty, I don’t think Marquez is all bad. He’s from Mexico. And without Mexico, there wouldn’t be enchiladas. Or Speedy Gonzalez. So I can’t be that upset with him.

With that being said, no way in hell I want my woman near this guy! Whenever she goes on a trip to Mexico, it makes me nervous. Is Marquez out there like a snake? Watching? Waiting for the moment to strike? I would hands down say yes. Greasy haired bastard.

Keep in mind, fellas. Most women wouldn’t mind being snake bitten by this scum bag. So don’t say I didn’t warn you! Now, back to photoshopping Marquez stomping on some puppies…

-Dave Q.

Note:  Yes, I may still be bitter about the U.S. getting owned by Mexico in the soccer match last Sunday, but I assure you that is complete coincidence.  :)

I played in a company softball tournament yesterday.  It was a lot of fun!  We battled for a while and ended up playing a total of 7 games to lose in the championship game.  2nd place is nothing to be ashamed of.  We fought hard and lost to a very good team.  Compared to us, they were pretty fresh.  I think they played 3 fewer games than us.  Anyway, it was hot.  The temps were hovering around 100 degrees.  And I got hurt.  Again.

This time it was my hamstring.  I was running from first base to second when I felt a pop in my right leg.  I could have sworn I heard it too, but I’m pretty sure I imagined that part.  Anyway, it hurt like hell.  That was in our 6th game.  So I sat the rest of that one out and then of course I missed the last game.  It killed me to watch our team struggle in the last game because it was so evident that we had nothing left in the tank.  So we lost the game.  But we left everything out on the field.

So now I’m walking around with a limp.  I’m hoping the hammy heals up fairly soon.  Besides our current season, there is another softball season on the horizon.  I know what you’re thinking.  It’s time for me to hang them up.  My second significant softball injury of 2009.  I’m 33 years old.  But I still feel the urge to compete.  And until that goes away, I want to do something.  I want to stay active.  So I will try to be more careful.  :)

Time for me to limp off to bed.

-Dave Q.

I’m just curious how all of you out there are feeling about this.  Is it really as bad as they are making it out to be?   I’ve read the headlines.  Heard the chatter.  And seen it all over the news.  But in the end, the goverment is telling us to just wash our hands.  That doesn’t sound so bad, right?

They have shut down some schools in San Antonio out of fear of this thing spreading.  I hope they are making a bigger deal about it than it really is.  So far my life hasn’t ben impacted by any of this.  How about you guys?

-Dave Q.

Early Friday morning (just happened to be Friday the 13th), a small pizza parlor near my neighborhood went up in flames.  A moment of silence for Pizza Italia please…  :(

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Damn I loved the food there.  It was a place to hit after a softball game.  And I had them on speed dial when I wanted a pizza delivered.  Dominos and Pizza Hut can suck it.  Pizza Italia was some awesome stuff!  And they had the best damn wings, too.  (sigh)…

I hope they rebuild.  The damage was pretty extensive.  In some cases, a total loss was reported.  But I have faith that Pizza Italia will rise again.

On a side note, my roommate hated Pizza Italia.  It was too complex for him (his thing is a simple pepperoni pizza from Little Ceasar’s).  So I have to question where he was at approximately 4am last Friday.  And whether or not he had lighter fluid and matches on him.  I’m just saying.

-Dave Q.

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Today's Deep Thought

  • I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is that they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff. Then, when somebody comes up, they act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"